Day 29-3 Wishes

3 Wishes... Very fitting topic since it's the New Year and it's my FIRST official day of being Laid Off....


I have a lot of goals for 2011 but I do not want to call them resolutions. They are goals I have regardless of the fact it's the beginning of January. With that in mind...


3 Wishes (Goals):
1. Healthy
2. Prosperous
3. Enthusiastic



I know I know, you're thinking, "what the heck?" .... but those are my goals for the next 363-ish days... and hopefully by that time they will no longer be something to "think" about or "keep in mind" ... hopefully by then, they will be HABIT :)



1. Healthy
This encompasses a lot and is a really big goal for me. Basically, I spent the first half of my life being a work out freak. I ate healthy, worked out at least 4 hours a day, 5-6 days a week, every week of the year. I was consumed by all that was health: fitness, diet, supplements, vitamins, etc. Then came the big bad rebellion streak of 2000. The problem with this streak is that it has now lasted 10 years... that's right TEN. You're probably wondering why I say "rebellion" so I will go into it. This is personal but what the heck. Here it goes.


So being a gymnast was my life (see earlier post) which meant that all things healthy were a MUST. Such as grilled chicken for dinner EVERY night, taking Glucosamine Chondroitin and Creatine supplements by the age of 12, running at least 2 hours every "day off" from workouts, etc. I was a freak. Then after all that hard work, my coaches called me in the office the day before sophomore year started and told me I had to quit. That's right folks, I was kicked off my gymnastics team. WHY? I was 16 and burned out. I asked them about six months earlier if I could be a JV cheerleader for my sophomore year of HS. This would mean missing about ten practices for the year. THAT'S RIGHT. 10 of my nightly practices out of the WHOLE year. I needed a change of pace and I was their top gymnast at the time since I was the only one nationally ranked. They agreed and told me to keep it our secret so that the other gymnasts wouldn't try to do the same thing. Things went spectacular all summer, then the night before school started, I was told another team member found out and her parents complained. That was it, I was canned. AND I was pissed.


Disclaimer: About three years after this disaster, my male coach came to me and apologized. He cried and said they made the biggest mistake by handling it the way they did and forcing me to quit. He cried harder and asked for my forgiveness.... which I gave. They are good people and I love them dearly.


Onward with the story...


So enter Sophomore year: Depression, eating disorder, and one miserable relationship after another. This started a series of relationships that now I realize was giving me what I wanted... a poor body image. My first boyfriend was nice in every way but always had a nack for letting me know that my six-pack wasn't as perfect as some of the other girls which resulted in my hardly eating at all and hiding that fact to everyone.... Lame. Enter second major boyfriend.... he weighed me. That's right folks, he weighed me about once a week to make sure I wasn't LOSING weight. He had this brilliant concept that if I was losing weight, it was only because I wanted to dump him and get with Mr. Too-Hot-to-Trot. He made me sit and eat in front of him every night but all that stress was having the opposite affect which meant more Chili's food, chips and ranch, etc. Force-fed crap if you will. Double Lame. Enter third major boyfriend in college. He went from literal Fraternity Party Planner and President to Health Nut. Dr. Pepper was Satan, as was any food other than Subway or Pita Pit. He also insisted I work out every day and kept tabs on how much "running" I was doing. I went with it (as in hid every Dr. Pepper and ran 5 min a day so that I wouldn't be lying when he asked, etc.) until he dumped me because I couldn't cook a Thanksgiving Dinner. Not a joke. Triple Lame. Then I drank my weight in Dr. Pepper/beer every day and lived off Mexican food for weeks at a time.


Over Christmas, a VERY good friend and former teammate said she thought it was funny that I have such an aversion to all things "workout." And ... it hit me. I have been so anti-everything healthy because look where it got me. This has been a rebellion streak to prove a point to all those people that forced it on me when it got me NOWHERE. But the truth is.... this rebellion streak hasn't hurt anyone but myself. QUADRUPLE LAME!


I had a trainer that I saw about three times a month in 2010... problem with that was: I only went those three times per month. Ha! Hilarious. So my first goal in 2011 is HEALTHY. In every aspect. MIND/BODY/SPIRIT.


I want to have a healthy body and eat better because it's the only body I will ever have. Thirty is just a couple doors down, and I need to start taking care of it before it's too late. I also want to continue to renew my mind and grow as a human being both personally and for my relationship with my amazing husband. And I want to continue growing in my personal relationship with Christ. Who knows, maybe we will even find a Salt Lake church this year that we like. :)


Whew... that was a big one.



2. Prosperous
Well like I said earlier. Today was my first official day of being laid off...EVER.


I woke up, went to the gym, ate lunch, baked some goodies for my husband, played with the dog, did the dishes, cleaned the bathroom/kitchen/dining room/living room, mopped the floors, swept, checked emails, am half way through this blog post... AND it's only 1:07 pm. SERIOUSLY!


This whole layoff thing is definitely going to be interesting and test me. I filed for unemployment and will be making less than half of what I normally make. Which unfortunately is $270 UNDER what my half of our monthly bills are. Dang. BUT... we have some savings to hold us over and I have two really neat opportunities in the works. I am VERY excited about them... and although they are risky, if I can really conquer them and make them my own, then it would be a WONDERFUL career change for me. So, I'm just trying to stay hopeful and motivated that it will work out in the most perfect way possible. :) Here's to a career I can take pride in and be happy about in 2011 ......



3. Enthusiastic
My third "wish" for 2011 is to stay enthusiastic about life and all the changes/challenges/successes that come our way. I know it's a choice to choose joy and I pray that I keep my sanity and positive spirit through the next few months. And I also want to wrap up December, knowing that I lived this year EXACTLY how I wanted: with the joy and happiness that life deserves.



whew... that was a long post.... Cheers to 2011... here we go.....