So I've been thinking of writing this for a while and finally decided to get around to it.
Since moving to Utah in 2007, there are lots of things I have noticed about Utahns that seem weird, annoying, or silly. I know an outsider to Oklahoma could probably write the same thing.... So here is my list....
1. The wrath of the InversionEvery so often, the inversion rears its ugly head. Most of Utah is in a valley between two mountains. Pollution from California and Nevada rolls into our state and basically gets stuck. It basically looks like heavy fog but smells nasty. In December, we had three cities in the top 5 "Worst Air Quality Cities" in the US. It makes people sick and really screws with my asthma. But regardless, it seems to be blamed for every bad mood... i.e.- "I'm just having a really shitty day, it must be the inversion."
2. This is my Little Stick FamilyWithout a doubt, most families have stickers on the back of their SUV, mini-van, mom-mobile that have a stick figure representing each family member. Many even have pet stick figures too. About 50% of them have the names of each member under each stick figure. The stick figures get really creative and often represent the favorite hobby of each family member. For example, the mom may have a shopping bag, the son may have a soccer ball and the daughter may look like a ballerina. If you've seen the most recent season of Dexter, you would rip those stickers off ASAP! Trinity is crazy! ;) Here is my favorite family sticker from another annoyed driver...
3. "Aggro" ... Everyone gets "Aggro"Come on people! It's not Aggro, it's aggressive! Someone can not be aggro... they can be acting aggressive! If someone is having a bad day, let's say that! Calling them aggro is just going to annoy me and make you sound like a California wannabe. Get over it... PLEASE!
4. "Ornery"Growing up in Oklahoma, "ornery" was a common term amongst my friends and family. HOWEVER, in Oklahoma it meant a playful or mischievous manner of acting. It was a playful or somewhat positive term. For example, if my husband was being silly, I would say he is being ornery. In Utah, it is a NEGATIVE term in all aspects. The other descriptive word most frequently associated with ornery is BITCHY. This has been a weird adjustment for me. I often find myself saying someone is ornery... and then having to say ... "Oklahoma ornery!" I would prefer if you think someone it bitchy to just say, "They're bitchy!" I understand it's a regional thing though so I try to keep that opinion to myself.
5. SloughingSo the first time I came to visit Joel, I attended his family's Christmas. During dinner his siblings had a long conversation about one of our nieces who had been sloughing at school. I was really taken back and had a hard time not choking on my food. I had only ever heard the term "sloughing" in health class as a description of what happens during a female's period. I was so confused and wondering why they would be discussing the girl's reproductive system so openly. Only after we had left the family function was I able to ask Joel about it. Turns out that the term refers to ditching school. He had never heard of it used in other terms and was surprised I did not know the term. I explained that we called it "ditching" or "skipping" in Oklahoma. I feel better about my shock at the discussion after looking up the definition on
theFreeDictionary.com:
slough (sluf)1. necrotic tissue in the process of separating from viable portions of the body.
2. to shed or cast off.
Can I get a BOOYA up in here?? :)
6. Utah Roadblocks
Joel told me about this phenomenon before I moved but I did not fully understand until after living here about a year. Basically, cars tend to drive below the speed limit and even with each other so others can not pass. This never seems to be purposeful but is a problem nonetheless! It happens ALL the time. All four lanes on the highway will have cars driving the same speed and just close enough to each other that you can't pass them. ANNOYING!
The fact that this phenomenon is actually in the Urban Dictionary makes me MORE than happy :)
Utah Roadblock:When you and your friends take up one whole side of the road with one car per lane going as far under the speed limit as you think you can get away with
7. Us vs. Them MentalityAfter living in Vegas for a year, I am a little more used to this mentality. Only in Vegas, it is a POSITIVE mentality. All the businesses fight for the locals attention. And the locals are fed up with the tourists other than for economical reasons. So, places have amazing deals trying to get the locals attention. For example, most places are twenty-four hours and have something called "Reverse Happy Hour." Basically, this is a the time after 10:00pm where everything is half price. Since there is no last call in Vegas, you can go to the bar at 10pm and stay however long you want. Reverse Happy Hour consists of all food and drinks half price... which means, you can have a steak dinner and drink all night for about $25! Its amazing! AMAZING Steak dinners for $12 and Martinis for $3! It's the way to live!
In Utah, it's a little different. The "Us vs. Them" mentality is centered around religion. The Mormons vs. the Non-Mormons. After living here, I can see why it is so distinct. Everyone who is non-LDS seems to try to prove that in all aspects of their lives and vice versa. When I first moved here, I got stared down ALL THE TIME! After getting super annoyed at having people stare and whisper about me all the time, I finally asked Joel why it was. He gave an explanation that I didn't understand then but now rings SO TRUE! He said people stare because I'm like a hybrid. I have the appearance of a good little Mormon girl but I wear risque clothing so people are confused. It is the truth. Since LDS females abide by a strict dress code of cap sleeves and bottoms below the knees, I broke their dress code with tank tops and jean skirts.
Non-LDS members more often then not have visible tattoos, crazy hair colors or facial hair for males. Salt Lake is the more liberal area so I see fewer kids, a lot of tattoos, and a lot of crazy styles and hair-do's. When I worked in Utah County, it was completely different. A lot of cap sleeves, non-working females, and wholesome appearances. When I went to Target in Utah County on my lunch breaks, I used to get stared down (due to what I believe was because I had no child and was in work attire). It makes you want to scream profanities or constantly have a beer in your hand! Which brings me to my next point...
8. You're 22 and not married? OMG! Your eggs are practically dried up by now! In LDS culture, the men go on a mission for two years at the age of 19. They return at 21 and start college and look for a mate. Return missionaries are on the prowl and every lady hopes to snag one. They get married YOUNG and FAST! Women are not allowed to go on mission until 21. Most women do not go on missions though due to marrying before the age. This was hard for me. 24 and unmarried with no kids?! People were concerned. Even now I get the pressure for starting a family. I was not used to this at all. I was used to a society where people get married between 23 and 28, start having kids 28 to 32 and it's okay.
In Utah, it is common to be married young. Most single girls at bars are 23 to 27 with at least one child. It's a sad reality. So many divorced and single mothers. Utah also is sort of anti-birth control. To get married in the temple, you have to be sexually pure. Birth control is not taught in public schools like it is in Oklahoma. Sex out of marriage is not only looked down upon, it is ruining your chances of a marriage being "officiated" by God. This is probably why the Utah Planned Parenthoods are like going to the DMV. AND... why so many couples are married after three weeks of dating. There is an ongoing joke that Mormon couples get married just so they can have sex.
9. State Liquor Stores
That's right. There are no such things as privately run Liquor stores. All liquor stores are state run and overseen. They have very strict guidelines and hours of business. There is generally at least one undercover cop at each liquor store and it is similar to Oklahoma in that liquor is only available here. After living in Vegas where you can buy Liquor at Walmart 24 hours a day, Utah is a rude awakening.
The first year I lived here, there was also a "membership fee" at all bars. Basically in order to enter a facility that serves alcohol, you have to pay for a temporary membership. It sucked. You pay $4-$10 to get into ANY and ALL bars. Then pay for drinks or the band fee or whatever. It sucked. It has been removed over the past few years due to a negative response for tourism purposes. Either way, State run liquor stores sucks.
10. Wait, what is the law now?The LDS church is a gold mine. Inevitably, their laws rule the state. It is a sad reality. For instance, a very well-known and profitable bar was shut down by the church. Why? They claimed they needed a parking lot. Come on! They leveled it several months ago but have yet to actually place anything of importance there. Furthermore, they are a tightly run business. Doctrine changes are based on political pressure and then deemed from God. They own almost everything, including major news outlets. LDS Temples are like Starbucks, there is one on every corner. Literally! As an example, it would be like each neighborhood (which they don't have in Utah) having at least two LDS churches.
Coming from Oklahoma, we have churches on every corner but it is due to the various denominations. In Utah County, you are pressed to find a non-LDS church.... anywhere! In Salt Lake, we located a Church of Scientology, a Catholic Church for immagrants and two non-denominational churches. Imagine.... that is the equivalent of having all Mormon churches except for three from Guthrie down to Norman. Sad but valid example of their political and financial influence in the state. I would get into the travesty of their great prophet murdering Indians and Settlers in the Mountain Meadows massacre and how that is offensive for someone from Oklahoma who tries to revel in and respect the indian heritage of the "Land of the Red People".... but I will save that for another blog. I will leave you with a simple interesting fact. After they led an "attack" on civilians and indians at Mountain Meadows, they created a small monument in its honor. In the past five years, they reconstructed a monument to honor and pay tribute to the horrific event. When they broke ground, they accidently broke into one of the mass graves of the murdered. Don't expect it to be talked about in Utah, it won't be. Instead, watch the History Channel, and they will lay out the entire event :)
END RANT.
