QLC x 3

I've written about this before... but I feel it again. QuarterLife Crisis. Stupid. Dramatic. Honest. Whiny.

I've had quite the roller-coaster ride professionally. Left a job I adored to move to another state, took positions less than satisfying to pay the bills, moved states again and got a dream job until the company went bankrupt, moved back and got another dream job only to be laid off after a year and a half. Annoying.

This week, J and I were in Vegas. Weirdly enough, it felt a little like returning home. I don't really know where home is anymore. Oklahoma with all my life-long friends and fam.... Salt Lake with my new existence and amazing friends.... Vegas where we started our marriage and grew as a team.... It was weird to be back as a local. I've already forgotten the layout of the city and got lost the majority of the trip. We stayed with our old roommate which was amazing. She is a very driven and independent individual... being around her is humbling in my own motivations or lack there of.

She really is quite the modern day business success story. She left Iowa to study dance in New York, networked her little heart out and relocated to Vegas as a manager of sorts for an artist that won E! Network's reality series "The Entertainer" in 2005. She then started a business from scratch and has moved into being a successful financial guru working exclusively with artists/performers/entertainers.



She is woman, hear her roar.


No but seriously....


The whole reason we went to Vegas was to help her with her company's soiree. J was performing and I worked my little heart out assisting her in whatever way possible. It was amazing to know she set up EVERYTHING and that it worked out perfectly. And when I say EVERYTHING... I mean she went from a blank warehouse ...





to a fully functional stage with professional lighting rigs/sound engineering/tables/displays/etc.






Here is one of the dance performances to "Burlesque" by Christina Aguilera and choreographed by Drea Lee.





Not to mention an open bar, an extensive raffle and free hors d'œuvres.






It was an amazing night of musicians and dancers to promote her financial services.









When I was in her office this morning, I noticed that she still had her dream boards promptly displayed throughout the room. What is this you ask? Dream Boards are amazing! You basically take a poster board and cover it in a collage of everything you want to accomplish that year. J and I did it in Vegas and it was amazing to look at it after a year and realize that I had accomplished so many of my "dreams" without even realizing it. J and I have slowly started gathering things over the last month to start our new Dream Boards for 2011.

Why is it taking so long to gather stuff? Because what I want is a big fat BLANK. Not a clue. I have a few little ideas but they are trivial things.

I appreciate all the kind words and encouragements from my last post... and believe me, I am taking them to heart! I came across a quote today that totally struck me.

"You can't make any decisions because you don't know what you want. And you don't know what you want because you don't know who you are. And you don't know who you are because you're allowed to be anyone you want."

A truer statement has never been spoken! Okay, not really, but you get what I'm saying. The quote comes from an article entitled "Welcome to Your Quarterlife Crisis" by Kate Carraway from Eyeweekly.com. I HIGHLY suggest you go HERE and read it. It hit the nail on the head... and man, I feel stupid.

The quote is spot on for me. I love exploring who I am and relish in everything I find! So the idea of feeling pigeonholed into one thing is frightening... but then again, maybe it's just because I haven't found IT yet. Whatever IT may be.

The article states "Boomer and post-boom parents with more money and autonomy than their predecessors has resulted in benignly self-indulgent children who were sold on their own uniqueness, place in the world and right to fulfillment in a way no previous generation has felt entitled to, and an increasingly entrepreneurial, self-driven creation myth based on personal branding, social networking and untethered lifestyle spending is now responsible for our identities."

BAM! *commence slap across face.

The idea of a quarterlife crisis came about in 2001 ... and we are its generation. It directly pinpoints how growth in master programs and Ph.D's is a direct result of our trying to find some sort of "purpose." The average debt today is around $20,000 for student loans and $4,000 for credit cards. Not to mention the average age for marriage has increased to about 28. This whole dang thing makes me resent Fight Club.... I'm listening Tyler.

The article addressed another big bullet-point of the old QLC.... babies. Oh, our clocks are ticking.... any woman past the age of 25 hears about it. If you don't... I'm jealous. One big struggle I'm having over the QLC (sounds like a shopping network) is whether I should really try to find something that makes me happy or find something that has positive potential when we start a family. For instance.... an office with similar hours to the school day, great insurance, or that offers in-office day care. These are all things I think about .... let's pile on the pressure. Luckily the article points out that this is a common female freak out. Be selfish and happy past the prime-baby making years and hope it all works out when it happens?.... or take the conservative route and hopefully ease the long-term stress of adjusting by preparing now?

The article sums it up perfectly "it might just be time to grow the f*** up."

So after returning from Vegas, I promptly researched and applied for all available archaeology oriented positions that don't require a PhD in Utah. At least I've put it out there. I also am really going to try to finish my dream board. When I do, I'll post a little pic or something.

Thanks for reading my rants.

My Make-Believe Mecca

Being sick all week resulted in one major thing.... too much thinking. Feeling like crap and laying in bed for days made me into an over-thinking stresscase. I got my official call this week to let me know that our company didn't get the contract so my unemployment is definite. (Shocker! ...rolling the eyes). In a previous post I stated that I currently make $270 under what my half of our bills are every month. oh the joys of unemployment. J picks up my slack whenever possible but for the most part, I am feeling the stress to every extent of the word.

I'm reverting back to our poor experience in Vegas and relearning how to live off Ramen/tortillas/cheese/cereal. I don't go to the eye doctor, dentist or gyno (TMI?) even though I'm about 6 months, 2 years and 4 years overdue respectively. I've become somewhat of a hermit and get anxiety at the idea of leaving the house because that would inevitably result in spending money somewhere for something that I'll then stress over for the next few days wondering if that Dr. Pepper was really worth it or is that hair product really necessary.... you get the idea. It's a vicious cycle. Basically, I'm a walking ball of budgets and stress.

RELAX. I know right? This is life. This is what happens to people everyday and I need to get over it. I'm helping a few different friends during the week to keep myself busy and my mind off the situation. But I can't help but wonder, am I being too picky with my job hunt? Since graduating college I've had 6 jobs. Only two of these jobs were stationed at a desk. The rest were out in the field... interacting/promoting/creating/marketing/selling/building relationships/and overall just having a heck of a time. I love being out in the world. I love being in my car and spending the day interacting with people who rely on me for various reasons. That's what I want. That's my Mecca, if you will. But is it worth the wait?

I flew in to Oklahoma two days earlier than J since I have the free time. When my parents picked me up from the airport, they asked how the job hunt is going.

To be honest, I hate this question. Don't get me wrong, I love that people care enough to ask but I hate the assumptions associated with it. I don't think people realize that job searching to me means applying for at least 25 jobs a month but usually ends up being more around 50. Since starting my job hunt back in August, (before I even got laid off but had a hunch it might happen), I've applied for probably 450 positions. This is not even an exaggeration... I apply for every job on careerbuilder even remotely close to what I want to do until there are no jobs left to apply for... then 7 days later I do it again with all new posts. I'm relentless.

I told them it was fine, but I'm getting one rejection after another. Most posts are now saying a Master's Degree is preferred or Required. For instance, the job that I CREATED statewide for a company in Oklahoma had the same position available at a place here in Salt Lake... I got denied. Why? "I'm not qualified" ... Masters Degree. Awesome. Since when did a Masters Degree become necessary for jobs in the $30,000 range. My dad suggested I go back to school. Get loans and get it knocked out in just over a year. I told them I felt it was a waste of time that would cost me some much needed dough, only to end up back where I am without a clue in the world about what I really want to do.

Then they got really smart and all parent-like and said "Well what is it you want to do?" ... I felt dumb. Like I was five years old again and my mom was asking why I felt the need to take all her lovely plants and rip them up. I couldn't tell her my make-believe stew needed the ingredients or my make-believe birds wouldn't eat it.

The sad part is, I don't have an answer. I like being out in the world and making people happy. Can that be a job? Can I just get paid for that? J and I have talked many times about my ideal job... I would love to be able to give presents to people. That is my ideal job. To just have an endless supply of money so I can surprise people with gifts all day long! I have imagined it many times! Flying this person to this place, giving this person that much needed thing, paying off this person's mortgage so they would never have to worry about it again, etc.

I know I know, that idea is about as realistic as my bird stew.

But it's the truth. I have nothing that I admire to be. I just always want to be the very best, hardest working employee for whatever I'm doing but that's not an aspiration to live up to or get excited about.

Back to my parents and their parent-like questions, my mom said, "well if you could do college over, what would you have had as your major?" . . . I said without thinking..... Archaeology. I know, you're probably laughing. But it just popped out. Damn Bird Stew all over again.

It was true though. I have always had a passion for archaeology and paleontology. It started by my dad encouraging me in my digs underneath our trampoline because I swore to him that I was determined to find some Dino bones under there! It's resulted in me watching every documentary I can find, relishing in any movie on the subjects and reading every article I can find. It's stupid though, I know. About as realistic as a 30 year old man deciding it's time to be that Astronaut. Bring it on NASA!

So anyways, after admitting to them that I know that's a crap shoot... I explained my adult-like ideas like A) International Business where I would want to work for the government overseas or B) Physical Therapy... because... well, I had my fair share of sessions growing up and always admired them.

So now what. Too late to start over and not enough funds to start again. Our proud little savings is down to supporting us for only two months and there is no relief in sight.... YET. I feel the need to throw in that little YET. I have hope. I do. But deciding what defines me as a profession is hard. A while ago, I bit the bullet and even started applying for office management positions at medical offices. Still nothing.

Any advice or inspiration on this matter would be GREATLY appreciated. (Especially if you actually took the time to read this whole darn post) ;)


On a lighter note, my husband sent me this link today.... and MAN, I needed it :)

snot, sniffles and snugglin

That's right folks, I am SICK. And not the cute little sniffles kind of sick...

... the lay-in-bed-for-the-day-with-kleenex-stuffed-up-my-nose-while-I-try-not-to-snot-on-myself-while-my-ears-are-ringing kind of sick.

Heck of a Valentines Day. I'm cooped up in bed feeling pretty terrible. I've sneezed so hard today that I ...

• A) was afraid I burst an internal organ
• B) almost threw up on myself
• C) am shocked my eyeballs didn't fly out of my head
• D) am afraid I caused permanent damage to my left ear since I can't hear anything but a high pitch squeal

Let's go with E) All of the Above!

Thank the Lord for my wonderful husband who has brought me food in bed, constant kleenex, juice galore, and has dealt with my overall gookyness today. Yes I feel gooky, whether or not that is a word... I can only imagine how unattractive.. and... well... DISGUSTING I have been for the past 36 hours.

On a side note: he bought a ukulele and I am very excited to hear all the amazing tunes that will come out of this purchase.




Also, I have enjoyed cuddling with this little thing all day :)


AND ... since it is Valentines, here is song he wrote for a commercial listing last week ...

We had a wonderful time in Oklahoma for my cousin's wedding so I will hopefully get to a post about that later this week :)

Tomorrow

A while back, J had thought it would be fun to remake some of the songs from musicals... He had a couple rough days... so he recorded this Wednesday night in our basement for the heck of it.

I think it's beautiful :)

Food Frenzy!

I've never been much of a cook. I stick to the basics... mac & cheese, quesadillas, scramble eggs, grilled cheese, mushrooms/asparagus.... etc. When J has friends over to jam or record then I usually try to make little appetizers for them to munch on. That's definitely my fave... appetizers. Basically I adore anything that someone would bring to a SuperBowl Party :)

So far, the best reviews have been:

• Spinach Souffle dip
• Queso
• Home-made Pizza Rolls
• 7 Layer Dip
• They also really like jalapeno poppers but those are just buy and bake... dang.
  

On a side note, people in Utah refer to 7 layer Dip as Bean Dip.... WHY?! I still can't figure it out. Bean Dip is just that... BEAN Dip. So sometimes people will ask me to make "that good bean dip stuff" .... 7 Layer Dip .... Let's get it right people! Maybe next time I will actually bring bean dip... that would be a hoot :) End Rant.

I'm always on the look out for new appetizers, dips and desserts ... and I just found a website that makes it OH SO EASY!

Foodily

Why am I just now hearing about this?! It has a ton of recipes and makes finding them a cinch! I also love how you can customize as you go. For instance THIS is currently my favorite search. :) I believe they are trying to incorporate the social network aspect into it but I haven't explored it enough to really get into it.

If you are like me and are always looking for new recipes, check it out and hopefully you enjoy it too!

3-1 ... So much fun!

Well this past weekend was J's birthday! The week started out a little shaky with our plumbing issues, but after we got those solved... it was officially his BIRTHDAY WEEK! I love birthdays!... I do ! I love holidays and birthdays more than anything! I usually tend to go overboard and have to reign myself in...



We started his birthday festivities by eating his favorite breakfast sandwich from Gandolfos. I had reserved a room at his favorite SLC hotel, Monaco, when our plumbing stuff was going on. So after breakfast he opened his first gift (MONACO!).



He was SO EXCITED! The hotel offers a Pet Package so Cleo got to come with us for free.

Since 2007, we've had a little birthday tradition....

Dinner at BenniHanna and Drinks at The Red Door. I totally didn't realize until J told me, but our hotel was RIGHT next to the Red Door and across the street from Benihana! Talk about some good planning ;)

We checked into our hotel after his practice with some friends and found lots of little cute dog stuff for us in our room.




For his birthday this year, I got him a new iPod Touch. The first birthday we spent together, I got him an iPod but over the years and several moves... we haven't been able to find it. He was THRILLED with his gift and all it's capabilities. He has been wanting something he can record song ideas on and guess what... there's an app for that! ;)




Now we absolutely love EVERYTHING about Benihanas! The food/the atmosphere/the drinks/the chefs! We were a little sad about our table when we first sat down because the other two couples were stuffy, stick-in-the-mud, anti-social, robots. Then a guy by himself sat right by J and refused to get up when the hostess explained that he would have to wait until his name was called. It was a rocky start but man oh man did it turn out WONDERFUL!

We had an AMAZING chef named Luis. Since no one else at the table was courteous or paid attention, J and I made sure to cheer for every fancy trick! The meal was the best we've ever had there... and the steak was some of the best I have EVER had anywhere! We were thrilled with our meal and our wonderful drinks!



After the meal, we asked to see the manager. They were a little skiddish about it but one of the main managers finally came over to talk to us. We complimented our chef and let her know that out of the four years we've been coming to the restaurant, tonight's chef was BY FAR the absolute best! We just raved about him for about five minutes. She was so thrilled to hear our good words and said that he is actually their newest chef! She assured us she would let him know how pleased we were. :)

After the meal, we continued to the Red Door. We didn't know that they would have a little band but they were awesome and played instrumental versions of top 40 hits. The Red Door has a really cool vibe and AMAZING martinis! J got a Prohibition and I got a Cocaine Lady. Mine was super tasty and very dessert-ish.

Cocaine Lady:

1 part Stoli® Vanil vodka
1 part Kahlua® coffee liqueur
1 part Bailey's® Irish cream
1 splash Rumple Minze® peppermint liqueur
1 part milk

Mix all ingredients in a shaker with ice, shake, strain into shot glass. The amount of milk is optional depending on desired potency of shot. Then sprinkle powder sugar in a line across the top.

If you ever visit SLC, I DEFINITELY recommend The Red Door. I love that we are usually the youngest people in there. It's all 25-45yr olds usually so it has a really neat atmosphere. We continued back to our room where they brought us TWO free desserts!

sidenote: When I had booked the hotel, I asked for a late check out due to our plumbing problem... little did I know that they had made note of it in the reservation. When we were getting ready to leave to dinner, we got a call from the front desk. They offered their condolences for our plumbing issues and told us to order a FREE dessert when we return to our room. We were shocked! Yay for good service.

And man, oh man... they were TASTY!





The room-service associate must have appreciated our tip because he came back with two free things of popcorn :)




Sunday we had brunch with our friends and their little daughter. We went to this cool little place in Emigration Canyon called Ruth's Diner! It was originally in a trolley car but they added onto it over the years! This is another place I recommend eating if you ever visit SLC.



Sunday Night was J's bday party at Bar Named Sue! He played an acoustic set to start out the night ...




... then his old band, Illborn, played a set. It was really neat to see his old band on stage together since they haven't played together in about 10 years.



They were followed by another friend's acoustic set...





...then J closed out the night with two songs!







Tons of his friends showed up (especially for a Sunday night) and I passed out cupcakes for his bday :)






Here's to the big 31 - hope it is oh, so much fun! ;)