The Body Book

We have started to see a little bit of some Spring weather but then the snow rears its ugly head. It's been quite the weather disappointment for March. Which brings me to my latest annoyance: Asthma.

When I was in gymnastics I started having to use an inhaler.... "exercise-induced asthma" is what they called it. Then came "cat-induced asthma" ... then came "do-not-run-in-cold-air asthma" ...

This month it has turned into "there-is-a-dust-particle-or-cat-owner-within-100-feet-of-me-and-Utah-is-cold asthma" ... and it is terrible. This past week, I've spent more nights trying to sleep upright, taking medications, using my inhaler then EVER before. I've also cried twice during the asthma episodes due to fear of not being able to get oxygen, thought I was having a stroke because my arms were tingly, and seriously considered going to the ER.  And... I'm at my wits end.

Now I've mentioned it before but I'll bring it up again. J and I aren't really religious. Spiritual, VERY! I feel like the man-made dissections of faith are really unfortunate and that most religions are so concerned with their man-made ideals and doctrines that they've lost sight of the true meaning and faith in God.

God is personal to me... and so is my relationship with him. No one can get in the way or tell me my life is displeasing to him because... well... it's personal. And I believe He knows where I stand, which is the way it should be in my opinion.

With that being said, I believe that when there are spiritual/emotional trials, they need to be dealt with or that pent up emotion/energy will show up in your body as aches/pains/ailments.   With this belief, I often turn to what J and I call "the Body Book" when we have a prolonged ache or pain.

I know what you're thinking... "The Body Book?! This girl is crazy!"

But I'm serious. For instance, have you ever been in a fight with someone and really hashed it out? What always happens? HEADACHE! A Head pounding, feel-your-heart-beat-in-your-eyeballs kind of headache. The Body Book says - Anger (a little more eloquently but you get the idea). That's right, headaches are the result of unexpressed anger. Think about when you get the majority of your headaches? (and I don't mean in relation to having one too many glasses of wine). ;)


Here's an example of my last Body Book experience ... I have had a lot of stomach problems growing up! It goes in stages but the majority of my life, I would get severe stomach pain that would result in me puking about once a week. I hid it for the most part, because let's face it... young girl puking regularly? I might have just worn a label across my forehead - "BULIMIC" ... I preferred to hide it from everyone but my family than to have to deal with the criticism of having a disorder projected on me that I DIDN'T have. It got so bad after I moved to Utah that I would sit in the bathroom and cry because I couldn't even go two days without having an episode. It was gross and painful. 

Enter The Body Book. There are a range of reasons that cause stomach problems but the one particular to my issues was: not being able to let go of the past.  I thought about this long and hard.  I'm a sentimental sap about some things EVERYTHING so the idea of this was hard for me.  BUT...  after thousands of dollars in medical bills, it was my last resort.  I worked on letting go of things in the past and being okay with not hanging on to them for dear life letting them remain there.   But nothing changed.  I prayed about it and realized that it wasn't about letting go of the past, it was about FORGIVING myself for my past.  We've all done things we're not proud of, lost friends we should have held on to, and said things we didn't mean.  And the truth is, I felt guilty for these things sometimes daily.  So I worked on forgiving myself and finding a place of peace with all those things I held onto still.

AND GUESS WHAT?!  Stomach pains/episodes GONE.   Sure, I still get the occasional incident.  But going from four times a week to once every three months is HUGE.  And a hell of a start :)

SO back to this asthma thing... the Body Book says (in a nutshell) "They want to control and dominate... they feel held back by fools, unrecognized for their true value and talents, and not given what they feel they deserve."

Well if that doesn't sum up my job search until last week, I don't know what does.  It was comforting in a way because I have submitted SO many resumes and been turned down so many times that I'm honestly not surprised the Body Book said this.  

THERE'S LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL....

I had four amazing interviews last week!  One on-the-job-field-Interview today and another one on Wednesday.  Things are looking up!  I'm just focusing on the fact that these companies are seeing my potential and that I can't control whether or not they like me, I just go out there... be myself... and knock their socks off ;)

Which means this whole asthma thing should be taken care of pretty quick... at least I'm working on it :)


Do you have any chronic issues you want me to look up in the book? ;)