Well ... i seem to be pretty behind with updating my blog. Here is the latest:
We're moving ... that's right... to the city of lights! ha! I don't even know if it is really called that... and if it is, it's pretty silly in my opinion. But either way, we're heading to Vegas.
Why you ask? Change of scenery. It's our little adventure. We don't have jobs yet, but I'm looking and Joel is just going to focus on writing. But either way we're heading down to Nevada and are planning on making the best of whatever comes our way. I'm sure I'll write plenty of updates about how much I love or loathe the situation. Hopefully the former :)
So .. stay tuned haha!
Sunday, July 13, 2008
Sunday, July 6, 2008
Aunt Update!
Since it's been a while since I blogged anything, I thought I would load some more
recent pics of my niece :) Above is a photo of my sis with Reese in Dallas. To the right and below is a photo I took while visiting home in June. It's my mom and my sis with little Reese.
Below is my favorite photo because it just straight cracks me up! I can't help but wonder what Reese is thinking :)
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
Zip-A-Dee-Do-Da
Last night I went with my roomies to Huka for Karaoke night. We got into a short little discussion about "oldies but goodies." We ended up debating for about 20 minutes who sang the old song "Yakety Yak." I remember when I was really little, my parents made me a mix-tape full of songs that were "appropriate" for a little tyke. I have no clue if they actually made the tape for me or if it was something that had been passed through my cousins and sister. Either way, I LOVED this tape! I would listen to it NON-STOP and had a choreographed dance for each song in the perfect style of a 4 year old. The tape basically consisted of songs like the aforementioned "Yakety Yak" .. "Lollipop ... "Great Balls of Fire" ... "Kokomo" ... etc. That tape was the world to me all summer long! I have looked for it several times over the past 15 years or so but have never located it. The great debate last night got me thinking about all the songs I listened to growing up and how they influenced me in one way or another.... So here is a rough list of my music idols over the years ... please don't judge :)
1. The Mix-tape -
... and the beginning of it all
2. Beaches Soundtrack -
My sister, cousin (Marti) and I would spend hours making up choreographed dances to the various songs! (Yes they are on videotape if you are ever bored enough to want to see them.) My 2 favorites were "Wind Beneath My Wings" (of course) and "Otto Tisling" (which I really had no idea what they were talking about but it was fun anyways) Looking back, I wonder if my parents thought it was weird when I was singing the words "Over the shoulder boulder holder" around the house.
3. Wildcat Wake Up -
The school wide twenty minute sing-song session they would have every morning. I was usually late to elementary school which meant I usually was dropped off just in time to catch the last couple minutes of it. (This was the beginning of my painfully shy era, so singing in public was NOT an option.) Anyways, there are several songs I still think about randomly at 24 years old... and will awkwardly belt out if the occasion arises.
For instance:
"Hagalina Magalina" was always sung around Halloween and was a song about a really ugly witch with incredibly smart lyrics like ... "She had 2 hairs on the bottom of her chin, one pointed out and the other pointed in"
"Albuquerque Turkey" was a song about a pet turkey that was always sang around Thanksgiving. More great lyrics .. "Albuquerque was a Turkey and he's feathered and he's fine. And he wobbles and he gobbles and he's absolutely mine! He's the best pet that you can get, better than a dog or cat. He's my Albuquerque Turkey and I'm awfully proud of that" .... Looking back, it's kind of morbid to have a song about a lovable pet turkey the month everyone goes home and eats one, but whatever.
"Rainbow Connection" ... yes the infamous Rainbow Connection... this song made me cry EVERY time ... no joke .. I cried. I also attribute it for starting my obsession with pirates because it talks about Sailors which I thought was SO cool and secretly wanted to be one.
"It's Ruff Being a Dog" was an instant classic... mostly because I LOVE dogs! But as I've come to find out as I have gotten older, VERY few people have ever heard of this song. Yes, I actually ask people... it's a classic. I mean you gotta love these lyrics: "It's ruff ruff ruff ruff being a dog. Eatin' dinner out of a can. Oh please take me to a restaurant to eat steak just like a man." Pure Genius. :)
4. The Little Mermaid Soundtrack-
My sister and I entered a contest where you could color a picture of Ariel and win the movie and tape. You better believe we won! Ursula's song was ALWAYS my favorite! That worried my mom a little. My sister and I can still sing all the words and perform the hand motions in unison to that soundtrack. Maybe you'll be lucky enough to witness our pure musical talent some day.
5.. Annie Soundtrack-
This was my one and ONLY record growing up. And when I say I loved it, I am being modest. I would act out the songs in my room with props and all. Yes, the ENTIRE record ... both sides.
6. The Talent Show -
1st grade, me and my best friend Lindsey Gregory made up a dance to "Ice Ice Baby" which was a huge hit ... or at least we thought it was. We almost went with Milli Vanilli "Blame it on the Rain" ... boy would that have been a mistake. Need I say more?
7. The Third Grade Play -
Our class was assigned a song called "Chocolate" ... everyone loves chocolate! I was dressed as a bright red M&M and had to do a handstand where a fellow classmate (Stacy Roberts) split my legs and peaked through at a critical point in the song AND the choreography. (Stacy, if you ever read this, I apologize for you being instructed to stick your face out over my crotch and smile). This is the song I quote most from those days... every time I eat chocolate the lyrics pop in my head. No joke. It must be some sort of sickness. But come on, you can't beat.... "I used to think that moose was an animal, rocky road was just a rough place to ride, black forest was somewhere very far away, and chip was a good friend of mine. Now I've developed such a craving that you'll always hear me raving about a certain food that's high in calories. " Looking back, it's sad that calories were brought up in a kids song but the chorus is even better... "Chocolate! Give me Chocolate! I don't think I can live without it! In a sauce or in a shake, or a german chocolate cake! It's chocolate chocolate CHOCOLATE!"
8. Amy Grant-
I've decided you can't grow up in the bible belt and not have owned Amy Grant. I was always intrigued by the song "Hats" ... and of course "Grown-up Christmas List" also made me cry pretty much every time.
9. Paula Abdul-
"Cold Hearted Snake" ... one of my first obsessions which I find intriguing now at the age of 24 when I have a deathly fear of anything resembling a snake. And I loved the 80's-esque "c-c-c-cold hearted sssssnake. He's c-cold as Ice" ... Amazing. And of course "Opposites Attract" ... you can't be a kid in love with Paula and not adore the song with an animated cat in the video.
10. Garth Brooks-
One again, you can't live in the state with Garth Brooks Boulevard and NOT listen to good old Garth. You just can't! "Lonesome Dove" was usually almost always on repeat.... Repeat of course meaning as soon as the song ended you promptly walked over to the tape player, rewinded, and played again. That's commitment.
11. Pretty Woman Soundtrack and Coca Cola 1992 Olympics CD-
When my mom bought our first car with a CD player in it. It was BIG TIME! I'm putting these 2 CD's together because they were switched in and out constantly. We listened to the Pretty Woman Soundtrack SO often that I could sing EVERY song. My favorite was Red Hot Chili Peppers verse "In a world that can be so insane, I don't think it's very strange
For me to be in love with you. I wanna know more than your brain" from the song "Show me your Soul" ... I guess it was a good thing I didn't have a clue what it meant. The Coca-Cola CD was a free sampler we got with the car. It only had 5 songs on it from different parts of the world, but you better believe I had every word memorized to them all ... even the spanish love song entitled "No se tu" ... I still don't have a clue what it means. My favorite song was "Free Your Mind" by En Vogue b/c i thought it was powerful and they said "prostitute" ... Come to think of it, both CD's incorporate "prostitutes" ... interesting. The Coca-Cola Cd was eventually stolen and I was DEVASTATED.
12. Backstreet Boys -
Yes ... I was a TeenyBopper to the core. I met them 3 times. I fell on my face in front of one of them. I knew sign language to their songs. I learned all their choreography (which was played in front of my entire school at our last school assembly senior year... thanks guys.) Due to humiliation reasons, that's all I will say.
13. Ballet Teacher Gone Bad-
JANET JACKSON. I wanted to be her.... in every way! I used to tell my dad I was going to grow up to be her back-up dancer. Every summer our gymnastics coaches would hire a ballet teacher, and we would have to take ballet on top of going to our usual work outs. One ballet teacher decided she would rather teach us something fun, so she taught us a dance to "If" by Janet Jackson. It is one of my top 15 favorite songs to this day! The coaches eventually found out and she never finished teaching us the dance.
14. Van Halen - "Right Now"
One of my teammates chose the instrumental parts of this song for her floor music. (Once gymnasts reach the Optional Levels, the routines are choreographed for them individually. The floor exercise is put to music and then the choreography is created to match the style of the music.) I was OBSESSED with her floor music. I remember LOVING the sound of the guitar. There is that messy guitar sound in the song where you can hear their fingers sliding on the strings. Most people edit it out, but they played it up and I was hooked. Changed my whole perspective on music.
And ... for anyone who actually read this entire thing, "Yakety Yak" was by the Coasters. I know you were just dying to know.
1. The Mix-tape -
... and the beginning of it all
2. Beaches Soundtrack -
My sister, cousin (Marti) and I would spend hours making up choreographed dances to the various songs! (Yes they are on videotape if you are ever bored enough to want to see them.) My 2 favorites were "Wind Beneath My Wings" (of course) and "Otto Tisling" (which I really had no idea what they were talking about but it was fun anyways) Looking back, I wonder if my parents thought it was weird when I was singing the words "Over the shoulder boulder holder" around the house.
3. Wildcat Wake Up -
The school wide twenty minute sing-song session they would have every morning. I was usually late to elementary school which meant I usually was dropped off just in time to catch the last couple minutes of it. (This was the beginning of my painfully shy era, so singing in public was NOT an option.) Anyways, there are several songs I still think about randomly at 24 years old... and will awkwardly belt out if the occasion arises.
For instance:
"Hagalina Magalina" was always sung around Halloween and was a song about a really ugly witch with incredibly smart lyrics like ... "She had 2 hairs on the bottom of her chin, one pointed out and the other pointed in"
"Albuquerque Turkey" was a song about a pet turkey that was always sang around Thanksgiving. More great lyrics .. "Albuquerque was a Turkey and he's feathered and he's fine. And he wobbles and he gobbles and he's absolutely mine! He's the best pet that you can get, better than a dog or cat. He's my Albuquerque Turkey and I'm awfully proud of that" .... Looking back, it's kind of morbid to have a song about a lovable pet turkey the month everyone goes home and eats one, but whatever.
"Rainbow Connection" ... yes the infamous Rainbow Connection... this song made me cry EVERY time ... no joke .. I cried. I also attribute it for starting my obsession with pirates because it talks about Sailors which I thought was SO cool and secretly wanted to be one.
"It's Ruff Being a Dog" was an instant classic... mostly because I LOVE dogs! But as I've come to find out as I have gotten older, VERY few people have ever heard of this song. Yes, I actually ask people... it's a classic. I mean you gotta love these lyrics: "It's ruff ruff ruff ruff being a dog. Eatin' dinner out of a can. Oh please take me to a restaurant to eat steak just like a man." Pure Genius. :)
4. The Little Mermaid Soundtrack-
My sister and I entered a contest where you could color a picture of Ariel and win the movie and tape. You better believe we won! Ursula's song was ALWAYS my favorite! That worried my mom a little. My sister and I can still sing all the words and perform the hand motions in unison to that soundtrack. Maybe you'll be lucky enough to witness our pure musical talent some day.
5.. Annie Soundtrack-
This was my one and ONLY record growing up. And when I say I loved it, I am being modest. I would act out the songs in my room with props and all. Yes, the ENTIRE record ... both sides.
6. The Talent Show -
1st grade, me and my best friend Lindsey Gregory made up a dance to "Ice Ice Baby" which was a huge hit ... or at least we thought it was. We almost went with Milli Vanilli "Blame it on the Rain" ... boy would that have been a mistake. Need I say more?
7. The Third Grade Play -
Our class was assigned a song called "Chocolate" ... everyone loves chocolate! I was dressed as a bright red M&M and had to do a handstand where a fellow classmate (Stacy Roberts) split my legs and peaked through at a critical point in the song AND the choreography. (Stacy, if you ever read this, I apologize for you being instructed to stick your face out over my crotch and smile). This is the song I quote most from those days... every time I eat chocolate the lyrics pop in my head. No joke. It must be some sort of sickness. But come on, you can't beat.... "I used to think that moose was an animal, rocky road was just a rough place to ride, black forest was somewhere very far away, and chip was a good friend of mine. Now I've developed such a craving that you'll always hear me raving about a certain food that's high in calories. " Looking back, it's sad that calories were brought up in a kids song but the chorus is even better... "Chocolate! Give me Chocolate! I don't think I can live without it! In a sauce or in a shake, or a german chocolate cake! It's chocolate chocolate CHOCOLATE!"
8. Amy Grant-
I've decided you can't grow up in the bible belt and not have owned Amy Grant. I was always intrigued by the song "Hats" ... and of course "Grown-up Christmas List" also made me cry pretty much every time.
9. Paula Abdul-
"Cold Hearted Snake" ... one of my first obsessions which I find intriguing now at the age of 24 when I have a deathly fear of anything resembling a snake. And I loved the 80's-esque "c-c-c-cold hearted sssssnake. He's c-cold as Ice" ... Amazing. And of course "Opposites Attract" ... you can't be a kid in love with Paula and not adore the song with an animated cat in the video.
10. Garth Brooks-
One again, you can't live in the state with Garth Brooks Boulevard and NOT listen to good old Garth. You just can't! "Lonesome Dove" was usually almost always on repeat.... Repeat of course meaning as soon as the song ended you promptly walked over to the tape player, rewinded, and played again. That's commitment.
11. Pretty Woman Soundtrack and Coca Cola 1992 Olympics CD-
When my mom bought our first car with a CD player in it. It was BIG TIME! I'm putting these 2 CD's together because they were switched in and out constantly. We listened to the Pretty Woman Soundtrack SO often that I could sing EVERY song. My favorite was Red Hot Chili Peppers verse "In a world that can be so insane, I don't think it's very strange
For me to be in love with you. I wanna know more than your brain" from the song "Show me your Soul" ... I guess it was a good thing I didn't have a clue what it meant. The Coca-Cola CD was a free sampler we got with the car. It only had 5 songs on it from different parts of the world, but you better believe I had every word memorized to them all ... even the spanish love song entitled "No se tu" ... I still don't have a clue what it means. My favorite song was "Free Your Mind" by En Vogue b/c i thought it was powerful and they said "prostitute" ... Come to think of it, both CD's incorporate "prostitutes" ... interesting. The Coca-Cola Cd was eventually stolen and I was DEVASTATED.
12. Backstreet Boys -
Yes ... I was a TeenyBopper to the core. I met them 3 times. I fell on my face in front of one of them. I knew sign language to their songs. I learned all their choreography (which was played in front of my entire school at our last school assembly senior year... thanks guys.) Due to humiliation reasons, that's all I will say.
13. Ballet Teacher Gone Bad-
JANET JACKSON. I wanted to be her.... in every way! I used to tell my dad I was going to grow up to be her back-up dancer. Every summer our gymnastics coaches would hire a ballet teacher, and we would have to take ballet on top of going to our usual work outs. One ballet teacher decided she would rather teach us something fun, so she taught us a dance to "If" by Janet Jackson. It is one of my top 15 favorite songs to this day! The coaches eventually found out and she never finished teaching us the dance.
14. Van Halen - "Right Now"
One of my teammates chose the instrumental parts of this song for her floor music. (Once gymnasts reach the Optional Levels, the routines are choreographed for them individually. The floor exercise is put to music and then the choreography is created to match the style of the music.) I was OBSESSED with her floor music. I remember LOVING the sound of the guitar. There is that messy guitar sound in the song where you can hear their fingers sliding on the strings. Most people edit it out, but they played it up and I was hooked. Changed my whole perspective on music.
And ... for anyone who actually read this entire thing, "Yakety Yak" was by the Coasters. I know you were just dying to know.
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
Princess for a Day...
I just thought maybe I should put up some of my bridal photos for kicks and giggles :)
They were taken by Heidi who co-owns Retrospect Studios, downtown Salt Lake. My mom had to fly in from Oklahoma and was only in Utah for a 48 hour period. Heidi was SO nice and accommodating to our time crunch. She made the shoot so much fun and had so many ideas.
Going into the session, the only idea I had was to take some photos at the top of the Avenues, overlooking downtown. That is an important spot for Joel and I. The second time I came to visit Joel in Utah, he took me up there right after sunset to tell me he loved me... but he chickened out. The "phrase" slipped out later that night while we were at his show at Huka. Hence, why we took our engagement photos there also :)
Unfortunately, it was raining and partially snowing at the exact time my session was supposed to start. Heidi suggested we go up to the Capital since we were already in the area.
We took several photos outside by the huge pillars and then moved inside. The majority of the interior is the same... grayish white marble. Heidi was so creative, when I see the photos, I almost forget they were all at the same location.
My favorite part of the shoot (and my favorite pictures) are the ones we did with the grand piano. Since Joel is a musician, it was fitting.
After wrapping up at the Capital, she drove us back to the top of the Avenues. She thought it would be a good idea to take one last shot at seeing if the weather would permit getting some good pics. The weather cleared just in time! It was beautifully overcast :) Anyways, I figure it's a VERY sappy, girly thing to blog about but .... It was a once in a lifetime experience... and i felt like a princess.
All Photos by Retrospect Studios - Please visit their website http://www.utah-wedding-photographer.com
THEY ARE WONDERFUL!!!
They were taken by Heidi who co-owns Retrospect Studios, downtown Salt Lake. My mom had to fly in from Oklahoma and was only in Utah for a 48 hour period. Heidi was SO nice and accommodating to our time crunch. She made the shoot so much fun and had so many ideas.
Going into the session, the only idea I had was to take some photos at the top of the Avenues, overlooking downtown. That is an important spot for Joel and I. The second time I came to visit Joel in Utah, he took me up there right after sunset to tell me he loved me... but he chickened out. The "phrase" slipped out later that night while we were at his show at Huka. Hence, why we took our engagement photos there also :)
Unfortunately, it was raining and partially snowing at the exact time my session was supposed to start. Heidi suggested we go up to the Capital since we were already in the area.
We took several photos outside by the huge pillars and then moved inside. The majority of the interior is the same... grayish white marble. Heidi was so creative, when I see the photos, I almost forget they were all at the same location.
My favorite part of the shoot (and my favorite pictures) are the ones we did with the grand piano. Since Joel is a musician, it was fitting.
After wrapping up at the Capital, she drove us back to the top of the Avenues. She thought it would be a good idea to take one last shot at seeing if the weather would permit getting some good pics. The weather cleared just in time! It was beautifully overcast :) Anyways, I figure it's a VERY sappy, girly thing to blog about but .... It was a once in a lifetime experience... and i felt like a princess.
All Photos by Retrospect Studios - Please visit their website http://www.utah-wedding-photographer.com
THEY ARE WONDERFUL!!!
Monday, April 21, 2008
" I'm the Secretary of State, brought to you by Carl's Jr. "
"There will be no curiosity, no enjoyment of the process of life. All competing pleasures will be destroyed." - 1984
Sometimes I feel like if 1984, Gatica and Idiocracy had a love child... it would be somewhere in the vicinity of where society is headed. Maybe the book 1984 was only 100 years too early. Recently, it seems this subject has come up often. Within the past couple weeks, I've come to realize how scary it is that we are SO reliant on technology. The little simplicities of life are becoming extinct. Since its been brought up in several ways recently in my life, I'll just outline them one by one.
1. Joel and I don't watch TV... as in, I have gone a year without turning on the TV for anything other than DVD's. Now, the idea of TV seems absurd. (Although, i will confess boredom often takes me to ABC.com to catch episodes of LOST and Samantha Who?) It is a blessing and a curse you could say. It's negative in the fact that we never have a clue as to what is going on in the world (other than listening to Loveline and x96's Morning show, which are obviously not great sources of news). But it is a blessing in the fact that it feels like a sense of freedom. Call me ignorant if you wish, but it is the MOST surprising feeling of rebellion. I never worry about things that are out of my control and broadcast across the various heavily influenced and often biased media networks. I don't stress if i'm not home in time for a certain show and it keeps the little joys in life in perspective. A sense of finding your own daily enjoyment, relaxation, suspense, or entertainment without having someone spoon feed you while you zone out. I think the thing I find the BEST about never watching TV is you become so much less concerned with things. For example, I have NO idea who's dating who, the latest fashion, the new coolest car, or most advanced form of beauty treatment. All that becomes almost hilarious.
2. Joel and I went to the Paramore / Jimmy Eat World show in Orem last week. The crowd had two types of fans. Half the room full of pre-teen/ teen girls with identical blonde/brown streaked straight hair. Tight brightly colored t-shirts and usually one accessory that would set them "apart" from the rest of the crowd. The other half of the room was early twenties to early thirties. They were mostly dressed very basic and were much more individually distinctive. During Paramore, the younger half jumped around, had cameras blinding and were making us all wish we had earplugs to deafen their piercing screams. The older half stood patiently watching while all this was going on. When Jimmy Eat World was on stage, the crowd shifted. Older half stood at the edge of their seats, swayed their bodies, and sang out of tune as loudly as they could. The younger half generally ignored the band and sat texting whatever friend was not at the show, i'm sure most of them were picture texts. Neither of these crowds were better "fans" then the other. The floor area was packed and bouncing with excitement during the length of both bands.
Now I'm sure you're wondering why I am rambling on and what this has to do with technology. Well towards the end of the Paramore set, the singer told everyone to lift up their lighters or phones and illuminate the room. Hundreds of phones went up in the air and the entire arena was thick with a bright blue-ish/white glow. In the midst of the sea of cell phones was 8 tiny orange flickers... glowing just warm enough to stand out. That's right 8! I counted. After the show I brought it up to Joel and he said he noticed it too. When was the SHIFT when it was such a common occurrence to be using a form of a telephone during a concert that it became a way of showing appreciation.... The time when having a lighter at a show was the rarity.
3. On the way to California this weekend, Jen and I were in a conversation about random things. She brought up that her and a friend had discussed how many years it will be until writing utensils are basically obsolete and old fashioned. She said she wouldn't be surprised if computers were adopted earlier in education. When will be the time they use computerized writing pads instead of paper? She said she doesn't think it will be long before everything is computerized. It got me to thinking and made me realize how weird it was that I had already experienced exactly what she was talking about.
Several of my college courses were online courses. Sophomore year, the teacher just had a website that displayed lessons and had an email address to email your papers to. Junior year, the teacher sent us PDF's and a website hosted online quizzes that were graded automatically and sent to our professor. Senior year, I had to purchase an electronic text book with a credit card that was then provided to me through a series of passwords. (I thought it seemed quite dumb, but made me hope somewhere in the world I was saving a tree or two). The tests, quizzes, etc were timed websites that gave you only a certain amount of time to answer each question. You had to submit each question individually which in turn showed you whether you had answered correctly or not before going on to the next question. It had all sorts of processes to keep you from changing an answer etc. It not only graded your work instantly but showed you how it affected your overall grade at the end of each session.
We have truly seen a monumental shift in our society. Things are SO different from how they were a mere 10 years ago. The idea that someone's only telephone would be at home has become a weird concept to me. I asked Jen in that conversation how anyone ever got a hold of eachother "back then." (Even though, I still have several of my high school friends' home numbers memorized from those days). Now, 11 year olds are equipped with cell phones. Long gone are the days of playing Oregon Trail, Frogger, or dealing with DOS. And flying at high speed toward us are the days where you can take an entire college course without ever leaving your bedroom, form an entire friendship/business deal without even hearing that person's voice, and so many other things that have now become mundane parts of every day life.
And if any of you haven't seen IDIOCRACY you should. It is one of the dumbest movies I have ever watched but you'll be surprised how much you think about it on a regular basis after you watch it. I swear you will :)
Sometimes I feel like if 1984, Gatica and Idiocracy had a love child... it would be somewhere in the vicinity of where society is headed. Maybe the book 1984 was only 100 years too early. Recently, it seems this subject has come up often. Within the past couple weeks, I've come to realize how scary it is that we are SO reliant on technology. The little simplicities of life are becoming extinct. Since its been brought up in several ways recently in my life, I'll just outline them one by one.
1. Joel and I don't watch TV... as in, I have gone a year without turning on the TV for anything other than DVD's. Now, the idea of TV seems absurd. (Although, i will confess boredom often takes me to ABC.com to catch episodes of LOST and Samantha Who?) It is a blessing and a curse you could say. It's negative in the fact that we never have a clue as to what is going on in the world (other than listening to Loveline and x96's Morning show, which are obviously not great sources of news). But it is a blessing in the fact that it feels like a sense of freedom. Call me ignorant if you wish, but it is the MOST surprising feeling of rebellion. I never worry about things that are out of my control and broadcast across the various heavily influenced and often biased media networks. I don't stress if i'm not home in time for a certain show and it keeps the little joys in life in perspective. A sense of finding your own daily enjoyment, relaxation, suspense, or entertainment without having someone spoon feed you while you zone out. I think the thing I find the BEST about never watching TV is you become so much less concerned with things. For example, I have NO idea who's dating who, the latest fashion, the new coolest car, or most advanced form of beauty treatment. All that becomes almost hilarious.
2. Joel and I went to the Paramore / Jimmy Eat World show in Orem last week. The crowd had two types of fans. Half the room full of pre-teen/ teen girls with identical blonde/brown streaked straight hair. Tight brightly colored t-shirts and usually one accessory that would set them "apart" from the rest of the crowd. The other half of the room was early twenties to early thirties. They were mostly dressed very basic and were much more individually distinctive. During Paramore, the younger half jumped around, had cameras blinding and were making us all wish we had earplugs to deafen their piercing screams. The older half stood patiently watching while all this was going on. When Jimmy Eat World was on stage, the crowd shifted. Older half stood at the edge of their seats, swayed their bodies, and sang out of tune as loudly as they could. The younger half generally ignored the band and sat texting whatever friend was not at the show, i'm sure most of them were picture texts. Neither of these crowds were better "fans" then the other. The floor area was packed and bouncing with excitement during the length of both bands.
Now I'm sure you're wondering why I am rambling on and what this has to do with technology. Well towards the end of the Paramore set, the singer told everyone to lift up their lighters or phones and illuminate the room. Hundreds of phones went up in the air and the entire arena was thick with a bright blue-ish/white glow. In the midst of the sea of cell phones was 8 tiny orange flickers... glowing just warm enough to stand out. That's right 8! I counted. After the show I brought it up to Joel and he said he noticed it too. When was the SHIFT when it was such a common occurrence to be using a form of a telephone during a concert that it became a way of showing appreciation.... The time when having a lighter at a show was the rarity.
3. On the way to California this weekend, Jen and I were in a conversation about random things. She brought up that her and a friend had discussed how many years it will be until writing utensils are basically obsolete and old fashioned. She said she wouldn't be surprised if computers were adopted earlier in education. When will be the time they use computerized writing pads instead of paper? She said she doesn't think it will be long before everything is computerized. It got me to thinking and made me realize how weird it was that I had already experienced exactly what she was talking about.
Several of my college courses were online courses. Sophomore year, the teacher just had a website that displayed lessons and had an email address to email your papers to. Junior year, the teacher sent us PDF's and a website hosted online quizzes that were graded automatically and sent to our professor. Senior year, I had to purchase an electronic text book with a credit card that was then provided to me through a series of passwords. (I thought it seemed quite dumb, but made me hope somewhere in the world I was saving a tree or two). The tests, quizzes, etc were timed websites that gave you only a certain amount of time to answer each question. You had to submit each question individually which in turn showed you whether you had answered correctly or not before going on to the next question. It had all sorts of processes to keep you from changing an answer etc. It not only graded your work instantly but showed you how it affected your overall grade at the end of each session.
We have truly seen a monumental shift in our society. Things are SO different from how they were a mere 10 years ago. The idea that someone's only telephone would be at home has become a weird concept to me. I asked Jen in that conversation how anyone ever got a hold of eachother "back then." (Even though, I still have several of my high school friends' home numbers memorized from those days). Now, 11 year olds are equipped with cell phones. Long gone are the days of playing Oregon Trail, Frogger, or dealing with DOS. And flying at high speed toward us are the days where you can take an entire college course without ever leaving your bedroom, form an entire friendship/business deal without even hearing that person's voice, and so many other things that have now become mundane parts of every day life.
And if any of you haven't seen IDIOCRACY you should. It is one of the dumbest movies I have ever watched but you'll be surprised how much you think about it on a regular basis after you watch it. I swear you will :)
Sunday, March 30, 2008
Something Old, New, Borrowed and Blue....
Well... I'm getting married in 5 days! ... That's right, 5! Who would have thought?! :) In honor of my giddy mood and the fact i'm so excited I feel like I could bust.... I decided to post our story on here. It's what we wrote up for our knot.com page. :)
The night we first met ...
HOW WE MET
Meggi's Version:
I convinced 2 of my best friends (Lisa and Ashlee) to go to a 30 Seconds to Mars concert in Bricktown. (Basically we went because we thought it would be hilarious to see Jared Leto try to sing.)
Well the first band played and we all thought they were so good, we went over to buy a CD. I was standing at the Merch table when Joel came up and started talking to me. Next thing we knew, the other 3 bands had played and we were still sitting right next to the merch table talking. We had literally sat there talking for hours. It was weird because we both felt like we had been life long friends! We exchanged numbers and 2 years later we're getting married! :)
... and a little side note - after we left the show that night, I told all my friends I had met my "soulmate" and I was devastated he lives in UT and that I'd never see him again.... Funny how God always has a plan :)
Joel's Version:
I first met Meggi at Bricktown in Oklahoma while my band was playing that night on tour. She was buying our CD when i walked up to our table, so we started talking. It was refreshing to talk to her, because she wasn't trying to impress me, or act all important, or find out where the backstage area was (we were opening for a band who's singer was an attractive famous movie star). We spent the next few hours talking about EVERYTHING from religion to politics to family dynamics. Eventually, our van had to make it's way to the next city, and i had to be on it, so i hugged her and said, "Well, I guess I'll see you around", and she said, "No you won't! you live in Utah, and I live in Oklahoma." So we swapped #'s, and kept in touch as friends for the next several months.
As weekly text messages turned to weekly emails, and weekly emails turned to daily phone calls, i remember saying, "It's a total bummer I can't take you out to a movie, or dinner, or anything like that...even though I think all that typical dating stuff is a total drag, I think we'd have fun." So weeks later, we split the cost of an airplane ticket so that she could come visit me just before Christmas. I was SOOOOO nervous! Here I was, this rock and roll kid, who had just kind of been making his way sleeping on friends' couches and gig-ing at clubs at night, and I'm trying to be comfortable around this cheerleader girl who was all full of energy and loved going to church. The funny thing was, I felt more comfortable and myself around Meggi than I had, well, ever. I didn't feel like I had anything to lose by just being myself, because if she didn't like me, she had to go back to Oklahoma in a few days anyway, and couldn't tell anyone in Utah what a loser I was!
The First Visit to Utah...
At the end of her visit to Utah, we had a conversation that went something like, "Well now what?" We decided that since we lived so far away, that it would be ridiculous to think that we could keep a relationship intact, so we would just be grateful for the amazing week we had, and left it at that. Meggi flew home that Christmas Eve, and it was the loneliest Christmas I ever had.
We visited each other a few more times, and Meggi had mentioned getting a new job, and moving out of Oklahoma. She was talking about maybe taking a job in Arizona, or maybe even California. The next day, I emailed her some job openings in Salt Lake City, Utah, and let her know how the unemployment rate was VERY low out here, and how it's very easy to find a job...hint hint. In April, Meggi moved out to Utah, where we had a chance to really get to know each other better, and fall in love.
The second visit to Utah ...
WHEN WE GOT ENGAGED October 6, 2007
Right before he proposed.....
HOW IT HAPPENED:
Meggi's Version:
Joel's band had a show in LA and I've never been to California so he invited me along. We got into town early so we had all Saturday afternoon to wander around LA. We drove around and he showed me different places around the city, and then we drove over to Venice Beach/Marina Del Ray to walk the shops. We walked around for a couple hours and then went to dinner at this really nice Italian restaurant near the beach.
We were getting ready to head to their gig, but Joel told me we should walk down by the beach before we leave. (He told me since I've never been to California, I can't leave before walking down to the water.) So we walked to the pier and were taking pictures while the sun was setting. We were watching the very last of the sunset and he proposed!! I was SO excited, I actually forgot to say yes! I was just jumping up and down and hugging him haha!
Joel's Version:
When I was thinking about marrying Meggi, I thought to myself "Okay...what do I do now?" So the first thing I did was ask all my closest single friends and family what they thought about the idea, and I knew they would for sure tell me I was crazy, and ultimately talk me out of it. But no dice. They were all like, "Man, I've never seen you so happy. If it's what you want to do you should totally go for it! Meggi's awesome!" So then I thought "Alright, I guess I'd better talk to her folks and make sure it's cool with them." I was pretty nervous about it. I didn't know them so well, since they lived so far away, and I had no clue what they thought about me...I don't even think THEY knew what they thought of me.
I had a couple phone conversations with Meggi's parents, and after hours of twisting both their arms, I convinced them it wouldn't be completely terrible if I got married to their daughter.
My band had a concert at a club in L.A., and Meggi had mentioned that she had never been to California before, so we invited her along for the trip. Little did she know, I was bringing a ring! (Thanks to Meggi's sis, Mandi for all the wonderful suggestions and helpful pictures over the internet) I didn't have anything planned out. I guess I was just kind of using "the force" and kept the ring in my pocket just in case the right time came.
On Oct 6th, 2007, we went walking around Venice Beach and Marina Del Ray, and then ate at a great little Italian place called C&O's. Something was telling me I had to ask her soon, so I asked the guys in my band to carry our leftovers and get lost for a little while so that we could go walking on the pier. They knew what was going on, so they were happy to help facilitate. The sun was setting perfectly over the ocean, and I told Meggi I loved her and pulled out the ring, and she just lit up like a firecracker and hugged me huge!...she still hadn't said yes, OR looked at the ring (she told me later that she didn't want to look at the ring yet, just in case it was horrible, and knew that if it was, I'd see it in the reaction on her face). She said yes, and then got a good look at the ring. She approved.
It was picture perfect. There was even a sailboat drifting along in front of the sunset...kay, super cheesy, but seriously, there was a freaking sailboat in the sunset!
Meggi, thanks soooo much for saying "yes"! I'm really excited to start the rest of our lives together, and hope you can deal with my insomnia and my occasional snoring.
One of our Engagement photos....
The night we first met ...
HOW WE MET
Meggi's Version:
I convinced 2 of my best friends (Lisa and Ashlee) to go to a 30 Seconds to Mars concert in Bricktown. (Basically we went because we thought it would be hilarious to see Jared Leto try to sing.)
Well the first band played and we all thought they were so good, we went over to buy a CD. I was standing at the Merch table when Joel came up and started talking to me. Next thing we knew, the other 3 bands had played and we were still sitting right next to the merch table talking. We had literally sat there talking for hours. It was weird because we both felt like we had been life long friends! We exchanged numbers and 2 years later we're getting married! :)
... and a little side note - after we left the show that night, I told all my friends I had met my "soulmate" and I was devastated he lives in UT and that I'd never see him again.... Funny how God always has a plan :)
Joel's Version:
I first met Meggi at Bricktown in Oklahoma while my band was playing that night on tour. She was buying our CD when i walked up to our table, so we started talking. It was refreshing to talk to her, because she wasn't trying to impress me, or act all important, or find out where the backstage area was (we were opening for a band who's singer was an attractive famous movie star). We spent the next few hours talking about EVERYTHING from religion to politics to family dynamics. Eventually, our van had to make it's way to the next city, and i had to be on it, so i hugged her and said, "Well, I guess I'll see you around", and she said, "No you won't! you live in Utah, and I live in Oklahoma." So we swapped #'s, and kept in touch as friends for the next several months.
As weekly text messages turned to weekly emails, and weekly emails turned to daily phone calls, i remember saying, "It's a total bummer I can't take you out to a movie, or dinner, or anything like that...even though I think all that typical dating stuff is a total drag, I think we'd have fun." So weeks later, we split the cost of an airplane ticket so that she could come visit me just before Christmas. I was SOOOOO nervous! Here I was, this rock and roll kid, who had just kind of been making his way sleeping on friends' couches and gig-ing at clubs at night, and I'm trying to be comfortable around this cheerleader girl who was all full of energy and loved going to church. The funny thing was, I felt more comfortable and myself around Meggi than I had, well, ever. I didn't feel like I had anything to lose by just being myself, because if she didn't like me, she had to go back to Oklahoma in a few days anyway, and couldn't tell anyone in Utah what a loser I was!
The First Visit to Utah...
At the end of her visit to Utah, we had a conversation that went something like, "Well now what?" We decided that since we lived so far away, that it would be ridiculous to think that we could keep a relationship intact, so we would just be grateful for the amazing week we had, and left it at that. Meggi flew home that Christmas Eve, and it was the loneliest Christmas I ever had.
We visited each other a few more times, and Meggi had mentioned getting a new job, and moving out of Oklahoma. She was talking about maybe taking a job in Arizona, or maybe even California. The next day, I emailed her some job openings in Salt Lake City, Utah, and let her know how the unemployment rate was VERY low out here, and how it's very easy to find a job...hint hint. In April, Meggi moved out to Utah, where we had a chance to really get to know each other better, and fall in love.
The second visit to Utah ...
WHEN WE GOT ENGAGED October 6, 2007
Right before he proposed.....
HOW IT HAPPENED:
Meggi's Version:
Joel's band had a show in LA and I've never been to California so he invited me along. We got into town early so we had all Saturday afternoon to wander around LA. We drove around and he showed me different places around the city, and then we drove over to Venice Beach/Marina Del Ray to walk the shops. We walked around for a couple hours and then went to dinner at this really nice Italian restaurant near the beach.
We were getting ready to head to their gig, but Joel told me we should walk down by the beach before we leave. (He told me since I've never been to California, I can't leave before walking down to the water.) So we walked to the pier and were taking pictures while the sun was setting. We were watching the very last of the sunset and he proposed!! I was SO excited, I actually forgot to say yes! I was just jumping up and down and hugging him haha!
Joel's Version:
When I was thinking about marrying Meggi, I thought to myself "Okay...what do I do now?" So the first thing I did was ask all my closest single friends and family what they thought about the idea, and I knew they would for sure tell me I was crazy, and ultimately talk me out of it. But no dice. They were all like, "Man, I've never seen you so happy. If it's what you want to do you should totally go for it! Meggi's awesome!" So then I thought "Alright, I guess I'd better talk to her folks and make sure it's cool with them." I was pretty nervous about it. I didn't know them so well, since they lived so far away, and I had no clue what they thought about me...I don't even think THEY knew what they thought of me.
I had a couple phone conversations with Meggi's parents, and after hours of twisting both their arms, I convinced them it wouldn't be completely terrible if I got married to their daughter.
My band had a concert at a club in L.A., and Meggi had mentioned that she had never been to California before, so we invited her along for the trip. Little did she know, I was bringing a ring! (Thanks to Meggi's sis, Mandi for all the wonderful suggestions and helpful pictures over the internet) I didn't have anything planned out. I guess I was just kind of using "the force" and kept the ring in my pocket just in case the right time came.
On Oct 6th, 2007, we went walking around Venice Beach and Marina Del Ray, and then ate at a great little Italian place called C&O's. Something was telling me I had to ask her soon, so I asked the guys in my band to carry our leftovers and get lost for a little while so that we could go walking on the pier. They knew what was going on, so they were happy to help facilitate. The sun was setting perfectly over the ocean, and I told Meggi I loved her and pulled out the ring, and she just lit up like a firecracker and hugged me huge!...she still hadn't said yes, OR looked at the ring (she told me later that she didn't want to look at the ring yet, just in case it was horrible, and knew that if it was, I'd see it in the reaction on her face). She said yes, and then got a good look at the ring. She approved.
It was picture perfect. There was even a sailboat drifting along in front of the sunset...kay, super cheesy, but seriously, there was a freaking sailboat in the sunset!
Meggi, thanks soooo much for saying "yes"! I'm really excited to start the rest of our lives together, and hope you can deal with my insomnia and my occasional snoring.
One of our Engagement photos....
Monday, March 24, 2008
Apple is taking over the world...
Whats on your Ipod??
I'm totally stealing this from someone else's blog. It's kind of fun to see what everyone has on their Ipod.
Here's what you do. Put your ipod on shuffle and post the first 10 songs that come on. Then, tell me which of those songs you listen to a lot or have no idea what they are but they are on there because they were on the cd of other songs.
1. It's beginning to get to me - Snow Patrol (not one of my faves)
2. Pardon Me - Incubus (wouldn't be right if one of theirs didn't pop up)
3. Brand New Key - Melanie (Love this! It's so creepy ha!)
4. Til I'm already Gone (LIVE) - The Hero Factor (LOVE THIS! My fav Oklahoma band!)
5. Fault Line - 10 Years (haven't listened to this in over a year)
6. LoveStoned/I Think She Knows Interlude- JT (used to jam out to this ha!)
7. Someday (LIVE) - The Hero Factor (i have lots of their songs apparently)
8. Proof of Life - Mr. Luci (aww... makes me miss Lulu!)
9. Freshmen - Verve Pipe
10. Dirty Little Secrets - Joel Pack (i have lots of his songs too) :)
Let's go fishin'
Oh how i miss my friends from home! Below is a blog I copied and pasted from one of my wittiest friends ... :) I miss you BDowns!! Brian, i'm sorry i stole this but it's too good to pass up.
Then we’d learn an important lesson about accepting people for who they are
Mermaid Thoughts -by Brian Downs
A lot of the sexiness of mermaids would be taken away if they were actually portrayed as having real fish traits.
Sure, some human traits would carry over to mermaids, like talking and rational thought. Someone should make a movie about a mermaid that shows her eating her own poop. That would take the allure out of mermaids fairly quickly. Maybe Disney can incorporate this into "The Little Mermaid 2: Ariel Gets Dysentery."
The prince she falls in love with would be like, "Whoa, what’d you do that for?" She’d be like, "I’m just eating." He’d say, "Yeah, but that’s your own shit." Then she’d say, "So? I’m hungry. That’s what I do. I’m a fish." He’d be all wise and say, "You are only half-fish." And she’d say, "Well, I inherited the half that likes to eat my own crap. Deal with it."Then we’d learn an important lesson about accepting people for who they are
Emily Dickinson and drear...
02/07/08
“I like not only to be loved, but to be told that I am loved; the realm of silence is large enough beyond the grave”
“Silence in love betrays more woe"
I found these 2 quotes above while surfing on the internet like I often do late when boredom hits me. ... For some reason, they conjured up how much I loved reading Emily Dickinson in school... yes, i was one of those dorks who LOVED reading all those boring books in English ...and Creative Writing was the highlight of my day. So here is my Dickinson-inspired nonsense.... no it doesn't rhyme... Enjoy.... or Hate ... it's whatever.
Silence in the soul. Should it comfort and honor comfort? Should it frighten contentment? Should it shriek at feeling complacent? Is the silence a warning to deeper caverns? A flicker of light on the fire that has been smothered by what ifs. how can fear and uncertainty engulf happiness and craved arrival? Is their release from such things? Where seeking silence is the quietening of the silent roar internal. Giving away known reality for vulnerable apprehension.... and security for soul. Running has long been detoured and turned on end. Hidden from the fear of lust. Lustful wanting of such departures bound. Life beyond is little without, but life with is failure pending. Failure of self or failure of sustaining.
A past that has built itself on salt. Sinking silently into the seen. Blank acceptance commanding shovels. Pouring each layer of salt out of empty vessels. Constant reassurance plagues and lingers. While silence grows its vines. Each twisting finger overpowering each simple word. Is this all that's left? A forest overgrown with grief for things unseen. For desires parked each kilometer per mile. For paper hearts fading in the sunlight. The stage is so enduring with standing ovations. And who can resist with reviews of opening night. Even withering mesh is naked. And the naked will flush into emptiness.
“I like not only to be loved, but to be told that I am loved; the realm of silence is large enough beyond the grave”
“Silence in love betrays more woe"
I found these 2 quotes above while surfing on the internet like I often do late when boredom hits me. ... For some reason, they conjured up how much I loved reading Emily Dickinson in school... yes, i was one of those dorks who LOVED reading all those boring books in English ...and Creative Writing was the highlight of my day. So here is my Dickinson-inspired nonsense.... no it doesn't rhyme... Enjoy.... or Hate ... it's whatever.
Silence in the soul. Should it comfort and honor comfort? Should it frighten contentment? Should it shriek at feeling complacent? Is the silence a warning to deeper caverns? A flicker of light on the fire that has been smothered by what ifs. how can fear and uncertainty engulf happiness and craved arrival? Is their release from such things? Where seeking silence is the quietening of the silent roar internal. Giving away known reality for vulnerable apprehension.... and security for soul. Running has long been detoured and turned on end. Hidden from the fear of lust. Lustful wanting of such departures bound. Life beyond is little without, but life with is failure pending. Failure of self or failure of sustaining.
A past that has built itself on salt. Sinking silently into the seen. Blank acceptance commanding shovels. Pouring each layer of salt out of empty vessels. Constant reassurance plagues and lingers. While silence grows its vines. Each twisting finger overpowering each simple word. Is this all that's left? A forest overgrown with grief for things unseen. For desires parked each kilometer per mile. For paper hearts fading in the sunlight. The stage is so enduring with standing ovations. And who can resist with reviews of opening night. Even withering mesh is naked. And the naked will flush into emptiness.
Quarter-life Crisis
It is believed that the most comforting thing to a human is their own image. Psychologists have said that people are often the most attracted to those who look the most similar to us. Yet those reflections are the mere result of genetics. It's true that people try to portray on the outside who they are on the inside but only through products that were mass-manufactured.
It's interesting to me that the reflection in which we find so much comfort is only our facade to everything outside of us.
When is it that we embrace the presence of our reality? So many times, i float through the day without ever really being present. The mundane tasks that society deems important are so habitual that they often take care of themselves. Have you ever driven somewhere only to realize you don't recollect a single moment of the drive? When is it that our presence becomes truly present with our everyday life? I believe that some people may go through their life without ever fully being present. They go through their day never really coming to terms with their reality. This overall loss of presence is something that I think gets lost in the realm of society... it gets lost in the traffic on the highway, the bills on the counter, and the communication breakdown at work. People forget to be present, they forget to be who they are. Or maybe they are just scared to.
I used to be that way. I was "present" only around my closest friends and only when I was having a good day. Other than that I was frighteningly quiet, reserved, and self-conscious. In college I slowly was able to change that to where I could be present more often. The years of silent observance had made me skilled in a strange way. I was able to be present in the way people needed me to be. I could randomly be the shadow, the clown, the social butterfly... and then shut it off when needs be. I found my delight and happiness only revolved around making those around me happy. Only recently did the truth hit me, I wasn't really being present at all, i was merely being the magnified version of what I had always been. It was only with the closest of friends or in the deepest of conversations that I was actually being true to me. Not to say I was being Fake, because I was still being me. I was just being the me that I thought I needed to be. The me that cared what other people thought and wanted to live by the do's and don'ts modern society have deemed important. And I think most importantly, I was being the me that would fit in.
Within the past several months, I came to the realization that more than ever, I truly don't care about society standards. The measures of wealth, happiness, and success that society throws at us from every direction have never been farther from my own. The latest fashion set forth by a human being equal to all others and placed on a page of a paper saying it is the new most important thing for 2008... is just that and that alone. The workaholic at the high-paying job to pay for the large house, is still only a worker bee with too much space.
When will we come to terms that life IS short and really does "fly by." A couple weeks ago my dad was talking about how he will turn 62 this year. He asked me, "Did you ever think you'd have a Dad who's turnin' 62?!" ... I laughed and said "Yeah, but I thought I'd feel a lot older by the time you did!" ... and then he said something that struck me, he said "You never will." I know i know, you're thinking, how did that simple little statement make an impact. But it is so true. I am only 24 and I already don't feel my age. Before I've always viewed people "feeling old" as a sad thing. Now i see it differently. It made me want to re-evaluate my life. I want to only regret that it passes so quickly because every day is a blessing that I'm living to the fullest, not that I'm losing out on the "best years of my life."
Joel and I had a conversation about a month ago that also has stayed with me. We were talking about the infamous mid-life crisis. In our random conversation style, we started discussing why we think they are so prevalent, especially within the past 5 years. Is it because we are getting to an age where more people are nearing "middle age".... or is it because society has praised overworked fast-paced lifestyles .. or is it that people get scared when they realize their life is not what they "thought" it would be? .. we didn't come to any sort of conclusion other than many times a mid-life crisis is the final eruption of buried desires. We talked in depth about how we want to live our life in the way that makes us happy. Call me idealistic, but I don't want to restrain myself to be something that i "should" be. I want to live my life knowing that I never turned down something just because it isn't viewed as "responsible" by the faceless crowd.
It's interesting to me that the reflection in which we find so much comfort is only our facade to everything outside of us.
When is it that we embrace the presence of our reality? So many times, i float through the day without ever really being present. The mundane tasks that society deems important are so habitual that they often take care of themselves. Have you ever driven somewhere only to realize you don't recollect a single moment of the drive? When is it that our presence becomes truly present with our everyday life? I believe that some people may go through their life without ever fully being present. They go through their day never really coming to terms with their reality. This overall loss of presence is something that I think gets lost in the realm of society... it gets lost in the traffic on the highway, the bills on the counter, and the communication breakdown at work. People forget to be present, they forget to be who they are. Or maybe they are just scared to.
I used to be that way. I was "present" only around my closest friends and only when I was having a good day. Other than that I was frighteningly quiet, reserved, and self-conscious. In college I slowly was able to change that to where I could be present more often. The years of silent observance had made me skilled in a strange way. I was able to be present in the way people needed me to be. I could randomly be the shadow, the clown, the social butterfly... and then shut it off when needs be. I found my delight and happiness only revolved around making those around me happy. Only recently did the truth hit me, I wasn't really being present at all, i was merely being the magnified version of what I had always been. It was only with the closest of friends or in the deepest of conversations that I was actually being true to me. Not to say I was being Fake, because I was still being me. I was just being the me that I thought I needed to be. The me that cared what other people thought and wanted to live by the do's and don'ts modern society have deemed important. And I think most importantly, I was being the me that would fit in.
Within the past several months, I came to the realization that more than ever, I truly don't care about society standards. The measures of wealth, happiness, and success that society throws at us from every direction have never been farther from my own. The latest fashion set forth by a human being equal to all others and placed on a page of a paper saying it is the new most important thing for 2008... is just that and that alone. The workaholic at the high-paying job to pay for the large house, is still only a worker bee with too much space.
When will we come to terms that life IS short and really does "fly by." A couple weeks ago my dad was talking about how he will turn 62 this year. He asked me, "Did you ever think you'd have a Dad who's turnin' 62?!" ... I laughed and said "Yeah, but I thought I'd feel a lot older by the time you did!" ... and then he said something that struck me, he said "You never will." I know i know, you're thinking, how did that simple little statement make an impact. But it is so true. I am only 24 and I already don't feel my age. Before I've always viewed people "feeling old" as a sad thing. Now i see it differently. It made me want to re-evaluate my life. I want to only regret that it passes so quickly because every day is a blessing that I'm living to the fullest, not that I'm losing out on the "best years of my life."
Joel and I had a conversation about a month ago that also has stayed with me. We were talking about the infamous mid-life crisis. In our random conversation style, we started discussing why we think they are so prevalent, especially within the past 5 years. Is it because we are getting to an age where more people are nearing "middle age".... or is it because society has praised overworked fast-paced lifestyles .. or is it that people get scared when they realize their life is not what they "thought" it would be? .. we didn't come to any sort of conclusion other than many times a mid-life crisis is the final eruption of buried desires. We talked in depth about how we want to live our life in the way that makes us happy. Call me idealistic, but I don't want to restrain myself to be something that i "should" be. I want to live my life knowing that I never turned down something just because it isn't viewed as "responsible" by the faceless crowd.
Blood.... red
What's Your True Color?
My Result: Red
Monday, May 7, 2007
jump in...
Today at work, my boss and I spent 2 hours in a car driving out to "boondocks," Oklahoma and back. Along the way, we basically caught up on the other's life and talked about the various things that have made us who we are. While talking about one of the subjects I've been struggling with, she said to me "If you knew that you were going to die within the next year, what would your decision be?"
I told her what anyone would answer to such a question, "I'd go for it, let it all out there, and jump in."
She laughed and said "Exactly! But how do you know when God will decide it's your time? Why hold back and let life pass you by? You'll never achieve anything by sitting back and waiting for it to happen."
I told her I agreed obviously but that it's a lot harder when decisions mean you could lose everything… and rock bottom is never somewhere you want to send yourself.
It's crazy how such a simple statement hit me so hard. Why waste time watching your life pass you by. Opportunities are gifts from God and it's your choice whether or not you act on them. And if it ends in failure, at least you know you gave it your best shot and you won't spend your entire life wondering "what if?" I'd rather have a lifetime of failures then a lifetime of things i wish i had done. Failures build character and make success that much sweeter.
I told her what anyone would answer to such a question, "I'd go for it, let it all out there, and jump in."
She laughed and said "Exactly! But how do you know when God will decide it's your time? Why hold back and let life pass you by? You'll never achieve anything by sitting back and waiting for it to happen."
I told her I agreed obviously but that it's a lot harder when decisions mean you could lose everything… and rock bottom is never somewhere you want to send yourself.
It's crazy how such a simple statement hit me so hard. Why waste time watching your life pass you by. Opportunities are gifts from God and it's your choice whether or not you act on them. And if it ends in failure, at least you know you gave it your best shot and you won't spend your entire life wondering "what if?" I'd rather have a lifetime of failures then a lifetime of things i wish i had done. Failures build character and make success that much sweeter.
swept away...
I've come to a point in my life where things that used to be the complicated aspects of life have taken a back burner. It's amazing how much people change from 21 to 23, etc. I've come to a time in my life where I can better relate to my sister who is 27 than I can relate to many of my old friends.
Within the past 2 months or so I came to a realization about my so-called "love life."
I've spent my entire childhood dreaming for a fairytale… for a modern day white knight to come and whisk me off my feet. As I got older and faced reality, I realized that this was an unobtainable goal and a matter for the imagination. So I settled. I settled for the "what if's", the "maybe he will change" and the "he's the best I can get." Basically I settled for being cheated on, being dumped, being emotionally battered and losing myself along the way. I settled for the idea that I SHOULD be in a relationship rather than that I wanted to be. Now don't get me wrong, I'm a relationship girl all the way, but I've finally come to the realization that commitment doesn't mean you have to give up yourself. Many of my friends struggle with this, just as much as I did. They don't want to let go, because the person may "miss them" or "change" or come back and realize they were wrong.
It's weird how life throws curve balls and we're sitting there hoping that at least our bat will make contact. My friends are split right down the middle. Half are newly single, trying to face a world they haven't seen in 2 years or more… the other half are engaged, ring shopping, or married. Out of my entire extended family, I am the only one not married except for a 20-year-old cousin. (You can imagine the number of questions I get about it during the holidays.)
My friends have told me that I've given them hope about break-ups because they've never seen someone deal with a break-up as well as I did with my most recent ex. They ask me how I could just move on and not look back. And how I had the strength to tell him no each time he would ask me on a date or tell me he had made a mistake. Each time they question me about it, I turn around and question them: "Why?"
Why would I want to be with someone that broke my heart and treated me as he did? I gave second chances during the relationship and I'm done giving any more. I shouldn't have to "settle" for someone who couldn't even decide if he wanted to be with me… and when he decided he did, it was too late. I don't want to be with someone who had to "decide" or "think about it." Life is too short to wait on people who "don't know," when someone else wouldn't have a doubt in their mind.
I recently found that I have a response to the infamous question: "Why are you still single?"…. I used to make up excuses or laugh and joke around it… but now, I look them straight in the eye, smile and say, "Because I'm waiting to be swept off my feet." They always smile back and tell me that's the best reason they could have heard.
Truth is: I've returned… I returned to the idea that life is too short to waste your time on an "idea" of someone. I returned to the idea that some people you just can't get enough of because "it's" there naturally. I've returned to the idea that there are people that every time you talk to, you find a bit of yourself. I've returned to the fairytale I held as a little girl. Because when it comes to the rest of your life, why would anyone settle?
… and if all else fails, there's always eHarmony right? :)
Within the past 2 months or so I came to a realization about my so-called "love life."
I've spent my entire childhood dreaming for a fairytale… for a modern day white knight to come and whisk me off my feet. As I got older and faced reality, I realized that this was an unobtainable goal and a matter for the imagination. So I settled. I settled for the "what if's", the "maybe he will change" and the "he's the best I can get." Basically I settled for being cheated on, being dumped, being emotionally battered and losing myself along the way. I settled for the idea that I SHOULD be in a relationship rather than that I wanted to be. Now don't get me wrong, I'm a relationship girl all the way, but I've finally come to the realization that commitment doesn't mean you have to give up yourself. Many of my friends struggle with this, just as much as I did. They don't want to let go, because the person may "miss them" or "change" or come back and realize they were wrong.
It's weird how life throws curve balls and we're sitting there hoping that at least our bat will make contact. My friends are split right down the middle. Half are newly single, trying to face a world they haven't seen in 2 years or more… the other half are engaged, ring shopping, or married. Out of my entire extended family, I am the only one not married except for a 20-year-old cousin. (You can imagine the number of questions I get about it during the holidays.)
My friends have told me that I've given them hope about break-ups because they've never seen someone deal with a break-up as well as I did with my most recent ex. They ask me how I could just move on and not look back. And how I had the strength to tell him no each time he would ask me on a date or tell me he had made a mistake. Each time they question me about it, I turn around and question them: "Why?"
Why would I want to be with someone that broke my heart and treated me as he did? I gave second chances during the relationship and I'm done giving any more. I shouldn't have to "settle" for someone who couldn't even decide if he wanted to be with me… and when he decided he did, it was too late. I don't want to be with someone who had to "decide" or "think about it." Life is too short to wait on people who "don't know," when someone else wouldn't have a doubt in their mind.
I recently found that I have a response to the infamous question: "Why are you still single?"…. I used to make up excuses or laugh and joke around it… but now, I look them straight in the eye, smile and say, "Because I'm waiting to be swept off my feet." They always smile back and tell me that's the best reason they could have heard.
Truth is: I've returned… I returned to the idea that life is too short to waste your time on an "idea" of someone. I returned to the idea that some people you just can't get enough of because "it's" there naturally. I've returned to the idea that there are people that every time you talk to, you find a bit of yourself. I've returned to the fairytale I held as a little girl. Because when it comes to the rest of your life, why would anyone settle?
… and if all else fails, there's always eHarmony right? :)
ramble on...
If wrinkles must be written upon our brows, let them not be written upon the heart. The spirit should never grow old.
-James A. Garfield
A British company named Compound Security Systems is now marketing a ringtone referred to as the Mosquito tone. It is such a high pitched sound that adults are not supposed to be able to hear it. After all the years of blaring music from my Walkman, Discman and now iPod- I was worried that my ears would be too damaged to hear it. I passed the test, it's quite an annoying squeal. Thank God I'm not that old yet.
Recently I came to the realization that I am in fact 23. Not just the number but the state of life that's associated with such an age. It's amazing how time flies. It's weird how you spend your entire life thinking about growing older and what each coming year has to offer, only to get to that next year and realize it's nothing monumental.
When I was a kid, I remember watching Saved by the Bell and thinking Wow! Theyre so old! and this was in the Miss Bliss days (if you were an avid watcher like me, you know these episodes were much more on the boring side then the episodes with The Sprain, Zac Attack, or the unforgettable "I'm so so SCARED!" by Ms. Showgirls herself) . As the show progressed and they grew up, I remember thinking I cant wait til I'm that age! Then when the Saved by the Bell college years came on, college seemed forever away and I remember thinking that by the time I got to college I would have my life figured out and would be on some destined path where the rest of my life would be some sort of happily ever after. Wow was I WAY off! Growing up, fairytales are embedded within us from every corner of life. We grow up surrounded by tales of princesses, perfection and true love. Where the person with the best intentions and the truest heart always finds pure happiness and the villains get what's coming to them.
When is it that we come to the realization that humor is often the façade of fear? When people are more interested in outdoing each other then listening to what one another has to say? When being different goes from making you the outcast to something admirable and sought out?
At the beginning of our lives we spend each day in anticipation to be older and be given more freedom. 16 - and the freedom of the open road. 18 - and the freedom to have a say in the rulings of our lives. 21 - and the freedom to not only drink legally but to supply yourself with alcohol. When is the infinite switch? The time you suddenly look to the past, the good old days, the way back whens that plague our parents. The days when youll say, "when I was your age" or "remember when..." When is it that people that were your peers are now those freaking annoying kids that won't put their phone on silent during the movie?
When does it become unacceptable to enjoy snacking on fruit loops, playing pranks, and dancing around in the rain? When do things that are now such common occurrences become signs of immaturity? Is it such a terrible thing to hope that I will never give up those things? That when I see my girlfriends when Im 60, we'll still booty dance out of excitement and drink martinis.
It's weird to come to a part of life when you realize that you're old stomping ground is now unrecognizable and that you're an outsider among familiar faces. When the people who you could never shock with anything and knew every aspect of your personality become awkward. When silences between friends are no longer comfortable affirmations of sincerity but are pauses between searches for topics. When do you reach the realization that many of your friends are only friends of convenience or are merely friendships based solely on activities?
Many of my friends tell me I'm weird. But why is that? Why isn't it just me? I'll be the first to tell you that I am the least likely person to follow any sort of fashion. (I find most of it to be insignificant in the scheme of my life. Not for everyone, but for me. Everyone has their niche in life and fashion is definitely not mine ) But does that make me weird? My friends will tell you that I am the most fashionably challenged person they know but hey I still LOVE black and brown together! :) The fact that I hate almost all popular magazines because they print pointless trash about peoples lives, does this make me weird? What about the fact that I love to bust a move to the bubble-gum pop of the 90s but at the same time, am obsessed with hard rock and long guitar solos? (Music that my roomie once lovingly referred to as "Kill-yourself-screamo-shit")
People always seem to tell me that I surprise them. Why? Because people stereotype into whatever place you think that person should fit. Its natural. I actually find it amusing to learn peoples first impression of who I am: the ditzy blonde. the party girl. the shy girl. the mute. the sorority girl. the cheerleader. the christian goody-goody. and even the groupie.
Since graduation, I've become very aware of how much I've lived in a bubble my entire life. It's great to step outside the box, expand your horizons, give people the benefit of the doubt, and entirely throw yourself out there. I don't wanna grow old and I figure, no matter how old I get, I don't really ever have to :)
Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.
~Mark Twain
Nobody grows old merely by living a number of years. We grow old by deserting our ideals. Years may wrinkle the skin, but to give up enthusiasm wrinkles the soul.
~Samuel Ullman
~Samuel Ullman
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