Quarter-life Crisis

It is believed that the most comforting thing to a human is their own image. Psychologists have said that people are often the most attracted to those who look the most similar to us. Yet those reflections are the mere result of genetics. It's true that people try to portray on the outside who they are on the inside but only through products that were mass-manufactured.

It's interesting to me that the reflection in which we find so much comfort is only our facade to everything outside of us.


When is it that we embrace the presence of our reality? So many times, i float through the day without ever really being present. The mundane tasks that society deems important are so habitual that they often take care of themselves. Have you ever driven somewhere only to realize you don't recollect a single moment of the drive? When is it that our presence becomes truly present with our everyday life? I believe that some people may go through their life without ever fully being present. They go through their day never really coming to terms with their reality. This overall loss of presence is something that I think gets lost in the realm of society... it gets lost in the traffic on the highway, the bills on the counter, and the communication breakdown at work. People forget to be present, they forget to be who they are. Or maybe they are just scared to.

I used to be that way. I was "present" only around my closest friends and only when I was having a good day. Other than that I was frighteningly quiet, reserved, and self-conscious. In college I slowly was able to change that to where I could be present more often. The years of silent observance had made me skilled in a strange way. I was able to be present in the way people needed me to be. I could randomly be the shadow, the clown, the social butterfly... and then shut it off when needs be. I found my delight and happiness only revolved around making those around me happy. Only recently did the truth hit me, I wasn't really being present at all, i was merely being the magnified version of what I had always been. It was only with the closest of friends or in the deepest of conversations that I was actually being true to me. Not to say I was being Fake, because I was still being me. I was just being the me that I thought I needed to be. The me that cared what other people thought and wanted to live by the do's and don'ts modern society have deemed important. And I think most importantly, I was being the me that would fit in.

Within the past several months, I came to the realization that more than ever, I truly don't care about society standards. The measures of wealth, happiness, and success that society throws at us from every direction have never been farther from my own. The latest fashion set forth by a human being equal to all others and placed on a page of a paper saying it is the new most important thing for 2008... is just that and that alone. The workaholic at the high-paying job to pay for the large house, is still only a worker bee with too much space.

When will we come to terms that life IS short and really does "fly by." A couple weeks ago my dad was talking about how he will turn 62 this year. He asked me, "Did you ever think you'd have a Dad who's turnin' 62?!" ... I laughed and said "Yeah, but I thought I'd feel a lot older by the time you did!" ... and then he said something that struck me, he said "You never will." I know i know, you're thinking, how did that simple little statement make an impact. But it is so true. I am only 24 and I already don't feel my age. Before I've always viewed people "feeling old" as a sad thing. Now i see it differently. It made me want to re-evaluate my life. I want to only regret that it passes so quickly because every day is a blessing that I'm living to the fullest, not that I'm losing out on the "best years of my life."

Joel and I had a conversation about a month ago that also has stayed with me. We were talking about the infamous mid-life crisis. In our random conversation style, we started discussing why we think they are so prevalent, especially within the past 5 years. Is it because we are getting to an age where more people are nearing "middle age".... or is it because society has praised overworked fast-paced lifestyles .. or is it that people get scared when they realize their life is not what they "thought" it would be? .. we didn't come to any sort of conclusion other than many times a mid-life crisis is the final eruption of buried desires. We talked in depth about how we want to live our life in the way that makes us happy. Call me idealistic, but I don't want to restrain myself to be something that i "should" be. I want to live my life knowing that I never turned down something just because it isn't viewed as "responsible" by the faceless crowd.