Embrace it

A sorority sister of mine (and dear friend) recently had a post about "Girl-on-Girl Hate" and the unfortunate reality that women like to hate on each other for no reason at all.  I highly recommend going to read her post and the article she sites. 

Girl-on girl hatred is unfortunate and sad but it's also inevitable.  Many times over the course of my life, especially in college, I dressed for females.  Sure, I wanted the guys to think I looked hot... but mostly I didn't want to be ridiculed by the girls.  This became ever apparent with my college boyfriend. He was the jealous type and thus restricted my clothing options... no skirts too short, no noticeable cleavage, etc.  But when I went out, I wasn't worried about the guys... I dressed for the girls.  I wanted them to think I was cute... that I was worthy to date that guy... and on and on.  Ridiculous. 

I have never been into fashion and have always just worn what I feel good in.  Which usually means anything sleeveless.  I have a long way to go before my arms are where I won't take every picture with my hand on my hip, but sleeveless is comfortable.  Sleeveless is me.   

Where is this going, you ask?  While on Pinterest today I saw a really cute way to take an over-sized flannel shirt and turn it into a cute SLEEVELESS option. 

via

The pin (random stranger's) had the description that this was a cute idea but kind of slutty.   OK.  REALLY?!  Slutty?  I don't know why but it just kind of pissed me off.   If I saw a girl wearing this in public I would think... "Creative" .... "Cute" .... "Fun"  .... Not Slutty.  I was annoyed. 

Since being married, I quit dressing for the girls and started dressing for me.  I wear what makes me feel sexy.  Because I know if I feel like I look good, that attitude will come across.  And my husband takes notice.  Whenever I wear something I am excited about, he always comments about how good I look.  Thus, him loving the outfit makes me want to wear it even more so he likes what he sees ;) 

I am lucky in that I chose a guy who doesn't care how I dress.  I want to rock the cleavage shirt? Great!  I want the flannel and silly hat?  Awesome!  I want the super short dress with the high heels? Do it!  Now when I see girls hate on my outfits, I brush it off because I don't care what they think when my husband thinks I look beautiful :) 

Funny thing is, I met my husband wearing a very scandalous shirt.  You can't really tell from this photo because I cropped off the bottom many years ago... but let's just say it was all boob.

 And to this day, I ENJOY wearing cleavage shirts.  Why?  Because one day soon I won't be able to.  And on that day, I'll look back and know I rocked the shit out of those shirts/dresses.  :)

So I guess the moral of this post is... go with what makes you feel the best.  Every woman out there... EVERY woman out there should feel like a million bucks each time she walks into a room.  Whether it be in your favorite black dress or your most comfortable jeans and T.  We should dress for us.  And all the girls that are "hating" on you are only doing so because they are insecure and unsure about themselves.  Don't take it personally because it is actually just a reflection of their own insecurities. 

The medicine man my husband and I visit said something that stuck with me.  He said that once a woman is married, it shouldn't mean she becomes the perfect image of modesty.  If she wants to rock the "slutty" outfit, then by all means, rock it.  But rock it with all of that energy directed toward her husband and her husband alone.  I love that idea and I embrace it.  :) 

End Rant.