I've had quite the roller-coaster ride professionally. Left a job I adored to move to another state, took positions less than satisfying to pay the bills, moved states again and got a dream job until the company went bankrupt, moved back and got another dream job only to be laid off after a year and a half. Annoying.
This week, J and I were in Vegas. Weirdly enough, it felt a little like returning home. I don't really know where home is anymore. Oklahoma with all my life-long friends and fam.... Salt Lake with my new existence and amazing friends.... Vegas where we started our marriage and grew as a team.... It was weird to be back as a local. I've already forgotten the layout of the city and got lost the majority of the trip. We stayed with our old roommate which was amazing. She is a very driven and independent individual... being around her is humbling in my own motivations or lack there of.
She really is quite the modern day business success story. She left Iowa to study dance in New York, networked her little heart out and relocated to Vegas as a manager of sorts for an artist that won E! Network's reality series "The Entertainer" in 2005. She then started a business from scratch and has moved into being a successful financial guru working exclusively with artists/performers/entertainers.
She is woman, hear her roar.
No but seriously....
The whole reason we went to Vegas was to help her with her company's soiree. J was performing and I worked my little heart out assisting her in whatever way possible. It was amazing to know she set up EVERYTHING and that it worked out perfectly. And when I say EVERYTHING... I mean she went from a blank warehouse ...
to a fully functional stage with professional lighting rigs/sound engineering/tables/displays/etc.
Here is one of the dance performances to "Burlesque" by Christina Aguilera and choreographed by Drea Lee.
Not to mention an open bar, an extensive raffle and free hors d'œuvres.
It was an amazing night of musicians and dancers to promote her financial services.
When I was in her office this morning, I noticed that she still had her dream boards promptly displayed throughout the room. What is this you ask? Dream Boards are amazing! You basically take a poster board and cover it in a collage of everything you want to accomplish that year. J and I did it in Vegas and it was amazing to look at it after a year and realize that I had accomplished so many of my "dreams" without even realizing it. J and I have slowly started gathering things over the last month to start our new Dream Boards for 2011.
Why is it taking so long to gather stuff? Because what I want is a big fat BLANK. Not a clue. I have a few little ideas but they are trivial things.
I appreciate all the kind words and encouragements from my last post... and believe me, I am taking them to heart! I came across a quote today that totally struck me.
"You can't make any decisions because you don't know what you want. And you don't know what you want because you don't know who you are. And you don't know who you are because you're allowed to be anyone you want."
A truer statement has never been spoken! Okay, not really, but you get what I'm saying. The quote comes from an article entitled "Welcome to Your Quarterlife Crisis" by Kate Carraway from Eyeweekly.com. I HIGHLY suggest you go HERE and read it. It hit the nail on the head... and man, I feel stupid.
The quote is spot on for me. I love exploring who I am and relish in everything I find! So the idea of feeling pigeonholed into one thing is frightening... but then again, maybe it's just because I haven't found IT yet. Whatever IT may be.
The article states "Boomer and post-boom parents with more money and autonomy than their predecessors has resulted in benignly self-indulgent children who were sold on their own uniqueness, place in the world and right to fulfillment in a way no previous generation has felt entitled to, and an increasingly entrepreneurial, self-driven creation myth based on personal branding, social networking and untethered lifestyle spending is now responsible for our identities."
BAM! *commence slap across face.
The idea of a quarterlife crisis came about in 2001 ... and we are its generation. It directly pinpoints how growth in master programs and Ph.D's is a direct result of our trying to find some sort of "purpose." The average debt today is around $20,000 for student loans and $4,000 for credit cards. Not to mention the average age for marriage has increased to about 28. This whole dang thing makes me resent Fight Club.... I'm listening Tyler.
The article addressed another big bullet-point of the old QLC.... babies. Oh, our clocks are ticking.... any woman past the age of 25 hears about it. If you don't... I'm jealous. One big struggle I'm having over the QLC (sounds like a shopping network) is whether I should really try to find something that makes me happy or find something that has positive potential when we start a family. For instance.... an office with similar hours to the school day, great insurance, or that offers in-office day care. These are all things I think about .... let's pile on the pressure. Luckily the article points out that this is a common female freak out. Be selfish and happy past the prime-baby making years and hope it all works out when it happens?.... or take the conservative route and hopefully ease the long-term stress of adjusting by preparing now?
The article sums it up perfectly "it might just be time to grow the f*** up."
So after returning from Vegas, I promptly researched and applied for all available archaeology oriented positions that don't require a PhD in Utah. At least I've put it out there. I also am really going to try to finish my dream board. When I do, I'll post a little pic or something.
Thanks for reading my rants.
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