Babypalooza!

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You may have noticed that I have been MIA on le blog.  It’s been for good reason.  A lot has been going on in the J and M household.  And to be honest I couldn’t write about it  Maybe I shouldn’t say couldn’t, as much as, didn’t want to. 

I didn’t know where to start and I didn’t know what I wanted to put it in a public forum.  I have done everything possible over the past 7 years to make this blog as private as possible aside from requiring a sign-in. 

In April of 2012, J and I kicked our butts in gear and decided to get on the baby bandwagon.  We had been discussing it at length for a while and decided it was time to start “trying.”  Or as J called it, “we pulled the goalie.”  We didn’t talk about it to anyone and I made him swear to complete and utter silence about it.  I didn’t want anyone to know because I didn’t want the pressure.  I didn’t want the constant questions or the questioning looks or feeling like I was on baby-watch. 

Of course, after making him swear to the ends of the Earth that he would not tell a soul, I was the one who lost it.  We had been trying for 6 months and I was starting to lose my mind. 

For a little background, I’m adopted.  My sister is also adopted.  I grew up with the intimate knowledge that some people can’t have kids.  It’s not in their biological cards.  Adoption has always been a huge part of my life, my existence and my being.  My sister and I volunteered as kids with an adoption service that my parents worked with.  We went to meetings and talked to parents looking to adopt about our experience, our thoughts, how we were told, etc. etc. etc.  My parents volunteered their time going through parent files and doing home interviews.   Adoption was and is an intimate part of my life. 

So after 6 months of trying (and seeing numerous friends get prego first try), I started to lose it.  I know stress is a major cause of fertility issues so I didn’t take my freak out to J.  More because I didn’t want him to get all stressed and then have both of us be big ol’ stress-cases. 

One day, I was skyping with a dear friend “across the pond” and she asked me…  Now most of my friends who had been asking were back in Oklahoma… so coming up with some silly answer like “oh, ya know… one day eventually” was easy over the phone.  But face-to-Skype-face was different.  I suddenly couldn’t talk.  I had no answer.  I just started crying.  She was all the way in England and I just cried.  She was pregnant at the time with her beautiful little boy, so I held back a little.  I didn’t want to put that burden on her of being the “shoulder” even though I was already crying.  She told me my stress worries were dumb and that J had the right to know how I was feeling about it.  She was right. 

J and I went to see the medicine man that married us and I let it ALL go.  I cried and cried and ugly-girl cried some more.  I expressed my fear of creating some sort of self-fulfilling prophecy about adoption and I let J know just how totally freaked out I was.  My English lady was right.  It was the best thing I could have done.  J wasn’t freaked out like I was.  He had total faith and hope in us and the plan God has for our lives. 

Needless to say, he spent the next several months reassuring me and dealing with my female freak-outs.   Without his support and patience, I would have been an even crazier mess.  He convinced me that I needed a female to talk to.  As a husband, he was giving me the utmost support, but he pointed out it would probably be helpful to talk with someone that would understand the female side of my freakout. 

Enter Whit.  Whit is a mother of 4 beautiful kids.  Most recently she had twins through an amazing homebirth experience.  She is a SuperMom in every aspect of the word.  The first night I met Whit was while visiting with our Medicine Man.  She knew about all my adoption stuff and it was refreshing to talk to a female who knows me.  She knows what insecurities I have and where I stand on life choices.  She texted with me through every test and each week of freakout.  She is really big on nutrition and knowing where your food comes from.  Through all her nutrition research and homebirth experience, she had all this knowledge just ready to go.  Having that female perspective was refreshing and needed. 

Fast forward 6 months and I started tests at the doctor to figure out “the issue” … Basically I started doing lots and lots of blood work.  Low and behold, to make a long story as short as possible, it came back a little unexpected….   

Baby P - debuting Christmas day! 

 

To say we are thrilled is an understatement!

We met my parents at DisneyWorld when I was just about 9 weeks along.  I only see them a couple times a year so the fact that we got to tell them in person was more amazing than I ever expected! 

We waited until we found out the sex to go public and it is a boy!!  We both knew it was a boy though.  I always thought that was silly.  How do you know that it’s one sex or the other.  But we knew.  Even before we conceived, I just had a feeling that our first child would be a boy.  When we went to the ultrasound, there was no doubt in our minds. 

Fast forward to today and I am a couple days from 30 weeks.  I wanted to do weekly updates but when it came to write them, I decided against it.  I just didn’t feel like sharing every detail with the world.  I share the details with J and close friends that I talk to regularly, but the idea of sharing it with everyone wasn’t what I wanted.  So … here is my official first update:

29 Weeks

Total Weight Gain: I lost 3 lbs the first trimester so I’m up 15 lbs from then or 12 lbs from my pre-prego weight. 

Maternity Clothes: jeans!  I love my prego jeans.  Baby P has always sat really low so I wasn’t able to button my regular jeans pretty quickly just because it hurt.  I still wear them occasionally with a little belly band but they just aren’t as comfortable as my Prego-Jeans! I also had to buy maternity work pants and some shirts that go down low enough to cover the tops of them. 

Gender: Boy :)

Movement: So active!  I started feeling him around 14 weeks and he has been super active ever since!  The ultrasound techs always comment about how much he is moving around.  It's been crazy for me over the last few weeks to watch my stomach move.  Sometimes it looks like he's having a dance party in there!  We’ve got an active baby on our hands!
 
Sleep: Questionable.  I had a terrible time sleeping until a friend gave me a giant prego pillow.  It’s amazing!  Now I sleep until I get up to pee in the middle of the night and tend to stay up for an hour or so until I can fall back asleep.

What I Miss: Beer.  Oh sweet, delicious beer!  How I miss thee!

What I'm Looking Forward To: My baby showers!  My mom is flying into town to attend.  Only the second time I have seen her since Baby P came on board :)  .... AND I'm excited about actually starting on the nursery. (That’s a whole post in itself!)

Cravings: Ice Cream, Root Beer, Potatoes, Eggs

Aversions: First trimester – the smell of browning meat made me so nauseous!  Gross.  Now, I have none.

Other Crazy Symptoms: hearing issues. My ears keep sounding clogged where I echo in my head.  It is extremely annoying (especially with all of my presentations).  I travel A LOT for work so I also have been loving my chiropractic appointments.  After trucking through the airport, I always tend to have some intense sciatic/pelvic pain so my chiro is the only way I feel better.

Daddy Update: Busy!  He has been working crazy hard trying to get the new studio up and running before Baby P shows up.  It is beautiful! ...  and the grand opening is this weekend!  Other than that, he has been hard at work trying to get our basement finished so we can move my office downstairs and start on the nursery.  I think we are both over the idea of construction!  Home stretch.  

Best Moment so far:  I love when J is able to feel Baby P moving around.  He moves A LOT.  J’s reaction is always hilarious!  He gets so surprised at every kick and squirm.  I love it.

I can't believe we are on the home stretch!  Crazy!  I purchased his newborn photo outfit over the weekend... Super fun!  And we scheduled our BabyMoon.  Everything is coming along slowly but surely!  Can't wait to meet our little guy :)

"Dear God, I thank You for the gift of this child to raise, this life to share, this mind to help mold, this body to nurture, and this spirit to enrich. Let me never betray this child’s trust, dampen this child’s hope, or discourage this child’s dreams. Help me to help this precious child become all you mean him to be. Let your grace and love fall on him like gentle breezes and give him inner strength and peace and patience for the journey ahead."